Mala’s a Canadian single mom going through a divorce here in the States, and in my opinion, she’s trying to do too much. What do you think?
Just like everyone else, I have a very unique situation.
I love the irony! True, though, I think.
It’s a long story too, but as you noted-detalis provide better answers.
Yes, let’s hear them!
I’m in the process of a divorce and taking care of my son while working full time and trying to finish my last few pre-req courses for 3 career choices that I’m interested in. I am a Canadian citizen with residencey in the US. I have completed pre-req courses for an AA in ultrasound tech, nursing, and PharmD. I completed these courses in California and in order to enroll in the one of those 3 programs, I moved to Las Vegas. One, I wasn’t able to find a radiology program in Cali near where I lived. Two, the nursing waiti list was about 2 years. And three, the PharmD program seemed most convenient (at the time).
Having recently moved here, the college that has the ultrasound program and nursing program don’t recognize me as a state resident yet. In addition to that, I started my academic course transfer progress earlier this Feb. I just found out a few weeks ago that they had lost my transcript and failed to notify me (they have all my current contact info!), so my course transfer evaluation is EXTREMELY delayed.
That sucks. Bureaucracy for ya.
I still have time to apply for one of the 2 programs, but I can’t afford the couple extra courses each program needs because my financial aid is on hold because of the delayed course transfer progress, which is the school’s fault. The deadlines are this spring and I’m hoping that I can finish my last couple of pre-req courses before then.
My other program choice, BA in pharmacy is another situation. This school requires my PCAT be submitted. I completed this test in 2009 and the school will accept those test scores, but I don’t think the scores will help me make the cut. I missed the deadline to take the test again this year before submitting my application due this Dec due to lack of finances. I’m wondering if it’s worth submitting what I do have to the school. If I can come up with the application fee.
I’m so undecided about what I want to pursue. With my personal life stressing me out, lack of financial aid and indecisiveness, I don’t know what to do.
OK, I’m gonna stop you there and say that what you need to do at this point is choose one of the programs and go with it. Three is overkill in any situation, I think, given the time and cost associated with prepping for three different careers.
But here, when you’ve got some pretty significant personal turmoil going on as well, two is also too many. It’s time to pick one and go with it.
And knowing what you’ve said here and no more, I’d say ultrasound tech would be a good choice. It pays well (something in the $20ish/hour range, I’ve read? Can anyone confirm/correct me on that?), and it sounds like the shortest route to being out of school and into a job.
And not for nothing — as an ultrasound tech, the majority of your work will be spent with people who are healthy and, more importantly, happy — happy to be having a baby. In nursing you’ll probably be working with sick people, and same with pharmacy. When you’re around happy people, you like your job (and, by extension, your life) better.
(I know, it’s an overgeneralization of nursing and pharmacy, but still…it seemed worth pointing out).
I’ve looked into joining the National Guard to help pay for school, but that also runs the risk of me deploying and leaving my son here.
It surely does, and that would terrify me, personally. I’m sure it does you, too.
His father (my ex) is not involved whatsoever. I’m scared to apply for a school loan since I’m not sure if my ex has lowered my credit score.
Don’t let the possibility that he might have lowered your credit score prevent you from applying for a loan. In fact, whether you apply for a loan or not, you should find out your credit score ASAP so you know what you’re up against (in education, but also in the outside world as well. Bad credit can screw you up all over the place, not just college).
I have an idea he might since bills for accounts that I’m listed as a secondary on are still being mailed to me.
Then get your credit report ASAP. This is the link to the government site where it’s truly free, not one of the others that tricks you into paying for a credit-monitoring service.
Idealy, I would love to apply for all 3 programs. But if I do get accepted, how would I pay for the full time programs?
I apologize if I’m misreading your intentions here, but it doesn’t make sense to me for you to pursue all three programs. You did your prereqs and kept your options open up until now — but now it’s time to decide. After all, you’re not going to be an ultrasound tech, a nurse and a pharmacist all at the same time after graduation.
Just choose one and go after it hard. Worst-case scenario? You end up hating it, and you can always return to try one of the other two later on.
But pursuing three incompatible careers for no discernible reason just doesn’t make sense to me. You’ll end up spending thousands of dollars on courses you didn’t need and hundreds of hours of your time that could’ve been using to square away your situation and get yourself some peace of mind.
Worse, what if I get rejected from all 3? I have no fall back plan from that if I do.
I would say that applying to all three IS a fallback plan. It’s one plan and two fallback plans all in one. It’s likely one will accept you. There’s a quote from Mark Twain that’s been bastardized over the years, but it goes something like this: “I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
Meaning, it’s good to have a backup plan and all, but at some point you have to ditch worry, go forward and execute your plan. If the worst happens, you’ll find a way to deal with it. But the worst probably won’t happen.
My mom has a quote by someone (I think the Dalai Lama) taped on her fridge. It says something like, “Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its sorry; it saps today of it’s strength.” Also true. (The sentiment, anyway — whether he actually said this, I have no clue.)
I have an AA in Liberal Arts already, but what can I do what that? Should I continue on to get a BA in Liberal Arts (if such even exists?).
Worst case, you can hustle and waitress and bartend or barista or whatever it is that thousands of single moms are doing right now to keep themselves and their children afloat. You’ll do it. It’ll be OK. I know that other single moms will tell you so in the comments section, so pay even more attention to them! 🙂
My passion is to stay in the medical field, but now my priority is to sacrifice time with my son for the short term so that I will be able to provide for him in the long run. Even if it isn’t in the career field that I want.
I see no reason for you to leave the medical field. People will keep having babies forever and ever, so they’re going to need ultrasound techs. And saying goodbye to the other two programs will free up time to be with your son.
It’s so disheartening to think that I put so much time, energy and effort in my science classes that they’ve gone to waste all because of my failed marriage and trying to get back up on my feet.
They haven’t all gone to waste, and they won’t go to waste — unless you let them. Overall, it seems to me that your head is swimming because you’re asking too much of yourself with the three programs. Cut those other two, and I bet you get a lot of your brain space and psychological well-being back!
And trust me, things will get better than they are now. I, too, went through a divorce, smack in the middle of grad school. It sucks, don’t get me wrong, but once it’s over and done, you’ll eventually hit the road to recovery and begin building a new life with your son! This will happen, I promise.
— Anyone else got tips for Mala? Divorce, single motherhood, medical careers, being a Canadian in America, etc.? 🙂 Let us know in the comments below!