Usually when students ask me questions about residence issues, they usually want to move off-campus and get out of their dorms.
But Kseinya has the opposite problem. She lives cheaply off-campus but wants a dorm life.
Hi my name is Kseinya and I am a freshman at Whitworth University.
Spokane, Washington. Just in case you guys at home were wondering where that is (thanks, Wikipedia!). 🙂
I’ve only been in school for about a month now and I love it. The main problem for me is meeting new people.
Well, it’s only been a month…
See, I live at home with my parents, and I feel like if I lived in a dorm it would be easier to make friends (roommates, hallmates, etc.).
It’d be easier on me if I didn’t have to make the drive from home every day either, which is 45 minutes each way. That isn’t that far, but at 7 in the morning for a non-morning person, it kinda sucks.
Well, I think it kinda sucks regardless of whether you’re a non-morning person or not. I used to commute that far when I lived in Arizona, and I don’t miss it. So I’m with you there.
I’ve been considering moving onto campus at semester, but there are a few problems with that.
Lay ’em on me.
1. I’m poor.
Big problem, you’re right.
Tuition for Whitworth is about 30,000 a year, and I have about 22,000 paid off with scholarships and FAFSA grants. The other 8,000 I took out in loans.
Great! That’s not so bad overall.
If I decided to live on campus, it would be another 10,000, and I don’t know where I would get this money.
A problem indeed. Well, there are very few super-easy ways to get $10,000 fast, other than by taking out loans. Few that are legal, anyway. So the long and short of it is, you’ll have to decide whether the benefits of living on campus are worth $12-13,000 (after interest) to you over the long haul.
Personally, I think that’s a lot of money to spend for the ease of making friends, but that’s just my opinion.
I’ve searched for scholarships and grants all over the internet, and it seems to me that alot of them are scams, because you have to pay to apply, which makes no sense.
You’re right about that — don’t ever apply for a scholarship that asks you to pay to apply. But there are lots of other legitimate scholarships out there, and I definitely encourage you to apply for them if you’ve got the time and energy.
I have no idea where to find good scholarships or grants, and if I don’t, I’d have to take out more loans =(.
Check Fastweb.com, Scholarships.com and ScholarshipExperts.com.
Which doesn’t sound good. Also, next year I probably won’t be getting as much money from FAFSA because my sister who is also in college just got married so she won’t be under my parents name anymore. Which will just cause more loans…
Anyways, that is problem 1.
Problem 2. Parents. This is as much of a reason to move out as it is a problem. My parents try to control every aspect of my life.
Uh-oh. Nobody enjoys that, and I’m sure you don’t either.
I’m trying to get a little independence by getting involved on campus, but they always need to know what time I’ll be home and etc. It’s a little irritating.
Right. On one hand, you’re a college student now, but on the other hand, you’re living with them, and you’re 17 (I read ahead!). Classic struggle.
But the problem with living on campus is getting them to agree with it.
Yeah, definitely, if you want them to pay for it, which I assume you do (at $10k, I wouldn’t blame you for wanting that).
My mother is stuck on the idea that young women should live at home til they are married.
Well, you’d better unstick her, and you’re the only one that can do it. I know there are some cultures where that’s common, but ours isn’t one of them, and I assume you’re unwilling to delay confrontation with your mom for several years until you meet your future husband. 🙂
And if I was 18, I’d tell my mother that I’m an adult and I can make my own choices… But I won’t be 18 til February. So if I decide to live on campus and can afford it, how should I tell my parents?
Well, have you thought about the compromise of moving onto an off-campus apartment much closer to school? That should be much cheaper than the room-and-board situation in a dorm (especially with roommates), and it’ll facilitate a much better social life than living 45 minutes away.
I wouldn’t try to ram this paradigm-shattering plan through your parents’ chain of command just yet, though — I’d wait until next year. Your mom’s obviously going to need some time to thaw out and warm up to the concept of young women being independent human beings vs. fragile creatures needing the shelter of parents or a husband.
And you might have trouble signing leases until you’re 18, and if that’s not until February, it may be tougher to find a place mid-semester.
How do you tell your parents? Hard to say, since I don’t know a lot about your relationship. I’m guessing by your name that you’re of Russian descent, and Russian parents are notorious for being a lot more protective than American parents due to all the bad shit that went on during the Soviet years and the post-fall gangsterism of the ’90s. (I know, I’m way out on the speculation limb today).
I don’t really know how to convince your folks that you’ll be fine on your own. Oh, who am I kidding — I don’t know you, so I can’t be sure if you’ll be fine, either. But start showing them you can manage your own affairs — everything to budgeting and money management to personal security. Take a couple self-defense classes. I have a daughter myself, and I’ll feel very good once she’s been professionally taught to gouge out eyeballs and rip off genitals.
And it goes without saying that you should get a job, if you don’t have one already, and demonstrate the ability to keep it.
So regardless of your relationship and why they’re overprotective, it’ll make them feel better about letting you go if they see some evidence that you can take care of yourself and make it on your own.
But after you’ve done your best there, all you can do is just let them know who’s boss (that’s you) and then go.
But come back and visit often. They’ll be so glad to see you that they’ll probably load you up with cooked meals, groceries and household items every time you swing by. 🙂
— What about you guys? Any advice for Kseinya? Any advice for me on how to *pronounce* Kseinya? Let us know in the comments below.