Sex Therapy vs. Doggy Hotel: Aisha’s Quandary

Hello, amigos. Today’s post comes to you from the cramped little airport cubicle pictured below at Chicago’s O’Hare airport, where I am currently laid up for a couple hours on my way to Orlando to sit in on the National Student Advertising Competition.

I had to get up so damn early to fly that when I checked in on Foursquare at the airport, I got the “School Night” badge for partying after 3 a.m. They just assumed I’d never gone to bed in the first place. I can’t decide whether to take that as a sign that I’m all grown up, or that I’m not having nearly as much fun with my life as I should be. (BTW, if you want to follow me there, be my guest.)

Today's Featured Workspace -- take that, Lifehacker!

Anyhow, that’s enough with the pleasantries — I’ve got a plane to catch here. Today I’m going the extra mile to help out Aisha, who writes:

Hi my name is Aisha and I have alot of questions for you I got to North Carolina A&T State University which is a historically black college I feel historically black colleges don’t get enough funding for the students and for the students who get money either have important majors or in sports and that are in state I’m a out of state student with parents that are divorced and my mother raises my niece an nephew and is losing her job I don’t have anyone with good credit to get me a loan and my gpa is bad not blaming it on stress but I have been stressed what can I do my major is socilogy and I’m not for sure if thats what I want to do my ideas is either opening a doggy hotel be a publist or marriege/sex conselur also to live n campus it cost more but to live off I need a cosigner which I don’t have I just need some help in to find where I need to go and what need to do thanks and have a blessed day.


First of all, let me very quickly address the elephant in the room — you don’t want to send an email like this to anyone who may potentially want to give you a job or money. William Faulkner and James Joyce are the only ones who can pull off that kind of stream-of-consciousness business without being ignored. Take your time, use punctuation, and get some helpful people to look over your writing for you before you write anything resembling that jumble above to anyone other than me. (If that sounds harsh, believe me, it’s better I tell you now and you fix it now than have you find out the hard way by getting rejected my money-givers later on).

Now, on to the more important matters at hand. I can’t really comment on the funding of historically black colleges because that’s a subject with which I have absolutely zero experience (and even if I did, we can’t make much progress in changing that before I have to jump on my plane).

Sounds like you’ve got a perfect storm of crappiness going on right now — you’re and out-of-state student paying high tuition, you and your family are in a tough spot financially right now, and your grades aren’t good.

OK, let’s go to work here.

Even if your grades are bad enough that you can’t get scholarships, you can still get student aid in the form of loans and grants, provided the government agrees that your financial situation is as bad as you’ve indicated. Be sure to fill our your FAFSA each year (which I’ll assume you’ve done) so that you can receive federal aid.

At the very least, unsubsidized student loans will be available to you, and they’re worth several thousand bucks a year (someone help me out here with the specifics, if you don’t mind — I board my plane in 20 minutes).

BUT…let me give you some advice first — get OUT of that school and go back to your home state. If you’re really unsure about what you want to do (which is natural, and especially true given the wide variety of career possibilities you mentioned above), then there is NO reason under the sun for you to be paying anyone’s out-of-state tuition to do that — especially if, like you said, you really can’t afford it.

Sounds to me like you’re the usual general-education courses while you figure out more of what you want to do. You can do that in your home state at a community college for a small fraction of what you’re paying now.

You mentioned running a doggy hotel, being a publicist or a sex therapist. Shooting from the hip here, I’d say that:

a) dog boarding is probably a need that’s never going to go away, but it’s a lot of work, and you need to love that work in order to be successful — just be aware of that.

b) Publicist jobs aren’t plentiful — that is, to be *the* publicist for one person/star/celebrity, etc. — but PR and media relations jobs are still out there and always will be to some degree. That field is changing a great deal right now (as newspapers and other print publications wither and while Twitter and other social networks rise) — so in that change, there’s a lot of opportunity for those people who embrace and master that new environment.

I did a little research on you, Aisha, and found that you’re already Tweeting like a mad woman, so perhaps you’re well on your way to that sort of mastery.

c) Sex therapists will be around forever as well. I don’t know what your expectations are as far as what the work would be like, but check into it thoroughly and ask around with therapists to be sure. I believe it’s a wide range of folks who would come across your path, but remember that most of them have problems that are acute enough for them to seek professional help to fix. If that scares you away, then sex counseling may not be for you. On the other hand, if that sounds like your bag, then by all means, go after it.

That’s my best advice, but what do you guys think? What should Aisha do? Let us know in the comments below.

41 thoughts on “Sex Therapy vs. Doggy Hotel: Aisha’s Quandary”

  1. Although I totally agree that there is never an excuse for careless writing, I did notice two of the same typos in the response! Rereading is a must, although two typos is much more pardonable than a complete lack of punctuation plus typos.

  2. Old coot here again! At age 44 and a returning student, I have the student perspective and the employer perspective. Before the collapse of the financial industry I worked my way from file clerk to the Executive team in 20 not so easy years.

    If I received this email as a cover letter, I would toss it in the trash. The person is majoring in sociology, but can not spell it? What type of job would a person ever expect to get without basic writing skills? The harsh reality is that this person based on the question, will never get their foot in the door for an interview. It speaks volumes as to the care and attention the applicant would not give to the job they are applying to.

    I agree with Josh, I would hang it up. Move back home and attend a local college or University. I would strongly suggest weekend writing workshops that are often hosted at Barnes and Noble, or your local library free of charge to improve those writing skills.

  3. I usually like reading the advice that Josh has to give. However, this time I would probably would have advised Josh not to have posted the exact message that Aisha sent out. It obviously was not edited before it was sent out, and it wasn’t a good look for the student or this organization as well.

    Aisha- I would advise that figure out what you want to do with your life, before putting more money into your education. If that means taking a semester off, or going to a community college for your general courses then so be it. Good luck.

  4. WOW!
    Try reading that without taking a breath! Punctuation! PLEASE!
    Aisha, why is your GPA bad? Don’t answer me, I am just asking you so that you ask yourself. One thing I have learned is, you will never know what you want to be or do until you can be honest with yourself. I am under tons of stress too, but my GPA is 3.80 and I am an old lady. I am with “the Man” here, start small at the local college and take a class or two and do some real research on what you want to do. The list you gave came from seperate ends of the scale as far as a career goes. I suppose you could publicize a sex therapy hotel for doggies. (Dog breading maybe?) That way you could do it all. If I sound ugly, I don’t mean to. It is just with that wide of a variety of choices, it sort of tells me you don’t know what you really want to do. Core classes are great to do while you find yourself. Good luck!

  5. There was some hard love coming from the direction of Aisha’s writing–yeah, she needs help, but I think there are larger problems going on here. For one thing, lack of direction for a career. Finding the solution to this problem may help Aisha with paying out of state tuition. If she works hard and gets into a decent department, then she may land a scholarship to cover tuition, IF she’s lucky. To get there, though, I think she needs to get realistic about what she wants to do.

    Start with career counseling, which most colleges offer. At the university I attend, you make an appointment and take a $5 test, which assesses your tendencies and interests as a person, and what careers may fit you. Then, you meet one-on-one with a career counselor to point you in the direction of study for the career that sounds best for you. Luckily, college is about experimenting and there are plenty of classes that can give you a taste of a career. Beyond doing outside research, which is heavily recommended as to what certain careers pay and what the job is realistically like, Aisha needs direction so she’s not tanking money without direction. I might sound preachy but this girl is in a tough situation and she needs to make a plan for the future fast, even if it’s only temporary.

  6. I completely agree with Josh on this one. Start at your local community college. Not only will that give you time to decide what you want to do, it will allow you to reset your GPA. Take all your basic classes there, blast out good grades, and apply for scholarships again in 2 years.

  7. I won’t go on any further than everyone else already has concerning your grammatical skills. I’m pretty sure you are aware of it by now! I will say that Josh is on to something here. If you are unsure of what you would like to do, it would probably be a smart thing to do by returning home and attending a community college for your basic courses. It will save you a whole lot of cash and heartache in the long run. During this time, you could try to focus on improving your grades as well. When you are ready, you could transfer to a four year institution; if that is what you want to do. Best of luck to you Aisha!

  8. Aisha should consider herself lucky that she even got accepted to college with writing skills like hers. More importantly, improving her average may actually get her some scholarship money. As for her circumstances, if her commitment matches her desire for a higher education, she could alleviate some of the financial burden on her Mom the Divorcee by working her way through school. In the meantime, please get some remedial English tutoring ASAP!

  9. Blake Harrington

    Judge Josh
    Although I admire the fact that you always set out to help these college students it seems to me that this one student wasn’t so fortunate. I have never seen you rudely correct any of the past students that you have helped. And assuming that they were all Caucasian it seems as if you have some type of vendetta against this poor African American girl. I agree with Nicole in a sense that you should have re-written or edited what she sent you. Anywho, I just think it makes you look a little racist and it makes your company look bad.

    1. Blake, I think you might do well to look at your reasoning for claiming racism about this article. Judge Josh is a pretty straight shooter in calling it like he sees it. He also does not appear to edit any student’s original posting. That shows a rule of very consistent behavior in regard to editing posts before posting them. Does consistent behavior toward all races who post questions indicate racism, or does it represent equality? I would argue it represents equality, not racism. I wonder what is going on with your thinking that you would jump to that conclusion with no evidence. Your Reactionary comment is something you might want to think about for your own education. Notice how most comments go over this woman’s need to check grammar and spelling and punctuation. It is not racist to offer suggestions about how to improve her ability to write either. How is Josh in trying to help somebody deserve the label “racist?” Racist people certainly exist, but Josh isn’t one of them. Furthermore, why do you assume to know what race Aisha is? She doesn’t identify her race at any point in her post. Now it appears you are starting to look a little racist. This goes back to the point of learning why you feel the need to react in this way. I hope you do learn for your own sake, and because you pass on your ideas to others through your comments. We’ve got too much of your kind of thinking in the world. “Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof.” –John Kenneth Galbraith
      Have a wonderful reflection Blake.

  10. Keep in mind that to be a marriage counselor (or sex therapist) you will need at least a masters degree before you can get licensed and work.
    So if this is really what you want to do and you are already tight on money and your gpa is no good… well as someone currently in grad school, I would suggest going back to a school near home and just studying your butt off till you get your grades up and save that money for grad school because you can find a decent cheap undergrad program but it is much harder to find a cheap MA program!

  11. @Nicole – Why would you advise Josh to edit her letter? First, there are ethical implication to editing someone’s work without their permission. By sending her letter in, Aisha gave him the permission to post it, but she did NOT give him permission to edit or alter her letter in any way. If he had followed your advice, he couldn’t have taken this great opportunity to remind people about the importance of good punctuation and grammar. Who knows? Maybe he saved another student from not re-reading a cover letter.

    Also, Aisha, I think I might know the cause of your poor grades. I doubt it’s stress; nearly everyone has stress in their lives. You’re not putting in the effort to do a good job. If you put the “bare minimum” of effort into your college work, you won’t get very good grades. This letter shows that this is exactly what you’re doing: you’re not devoting enough attention to your work.

    I think that if you transfer to a different school, take a low course load, and try to real dive deep into the subjects you’re studying, you’ll be more likely to find your true passion.

  12. If you don’t know what you want to do in life, does it make sense to pay someone to continue going to school for what?! Really, I agree with Josh. Go back to your home state and your local community college. If your financial situation is what it appears, grants will cover the costs and allow you to explore much cheaper. Also, if you are interested in certain things, find out class schedules and contact professors or instructors for permission to sit in on the class. My 18 year old son and his friends have received kudos from professors for the motivation they so by doing so.

    Good luck. – and Josh, I will forgive the typos since you were at the airport, but you had some of your own.

  13. Hello Aisha,

    I agree with Judge Josh on this one. I think community college would your best option right now. Take some classes, figure out what you want to do, get better grades, and then transfer to a 4 year university once you know what you want to do. As for paying for school, what Josh said is also your best option.

    I was in a similar situation being the niece that my Aunt was taking care of, along with her own 3 children. We did not have enough money to pay for my schooling, but my 4 years of university (at an affordable in-state school) was paid for by a combination of student loans (subsidized/unsubsidized), grants, and work study- all obtained by filling out the FAFSA. I did have some small scholarships, but majority of it was paid as mentioned above. That paid for my tuition and on campus housing (food not included). I worked on campus while I was there (work study) and also at home (school breaks and summers) to save money/pay for food, gas, car insurance, books, and anything else not covered by my financial aid. I was fortunate to have a job that allowed me to take time off while I was in school, but keep my position to be able to pick up hours while I was home (I went to school about 1.5 hours away from home).

    As for choosing which area to go into, since your choices are so different, I would say to shadow people in each profession if possible. Doing so with sex therapy might be difficult since it requires patient confidentiality, but it is worth trying.

    Hope this helps!

    PS- I agree with the before comments! You must use punctuation and reread all of your work (multiple times, have others read too, or try reading it out loud to yourself) and fix any typos or grammatical errors. Trying to read your email above was ridiculous.

  14. First, a comment to Aisha – your comments and grammar problems reflect your life – running from one crisis to another and no direction. You’re asking – screaming – for some guidance, and I think you got some good advice on these posts – that is, if you ignore the attitudes of some of them. I would say take some time off for yourself. Once you really know yourself, you’ll know what to do and where to go. Best of luck and God Bless.

    Now, a comment to Josh – just a reminder – forgive my paraphrasing but I seem to recall “He who is without sin may cast the first stone…..”

  15. Hey all,

    I have to agree 100% with Josh. First of all, and certainly foremost, Aisha, you need to write properly. I’m not saying that you need to write like a veteran journalist, but you do need to have proper grammar. This e-mail to Josh not only lacked grammar or spelling on many words, it also lacked ANY punctuation whatsoever. Assuming this didn’t just occur due to a change in formatting (which btw, would still be your fault as this would be what employers/scholarship judges/admissions offices would be reading), this is absolutely terrible.

    Make sure you NEVER, and I mean ABSOLUTELY NEVER do this again.

    Second, start taking classes relevant to some of the fields you think you’re interesting. Hopefully, through these classes you will get a feel for these areas and it’ll help guide your career choices. Good luck, and get it together!

  16. Hello Aisha,

    I am not trying to be mean in this first point, but there are some comments I need to make that I do not feel have been fully addressed. I am, of course, talking about your writing, but not in the sense that everyone else addressed it. I see a larger problem here that I believe may seriously impact your ability to get a job and perform in school, so I am going to ask some questions that I want you to seriously think about.

    Listen carefully to the way you speak, is it professional? Do you speak in complete sentences and annunciate all your words? Can professionals in your community easily understand you? Do you regularly mix up the noun/ preposition/ verb order of sentences? And does your train of thought when you speak go all over the place forcing non sequiturs in your speech so that even your friends occasionally have a hard time keeping up with your train of thought?

    The reason I ask is this: if you regularly make the same mistakes in your speech that you do in your writing, then even if you do manage to land an interview, you will be quickly dismissed. If, on the other hand, your speech does not fully reflect the mistakes in your writing, you could have a serious learning disability that is affecting your scholastic performance. I would seriously consider getting tested for learning disabilities. Once a problem is identified, you can get the tools to overcome it.

    I used to write like you, so my parents got me tested. We found out that I had dyslexia and ADHD. The dyslexia made it nearly impossible to read well, which affected my written grammatical structure and made it difficult to correctly spell words. The ADHD made it difficult to follow a thought to completion, leaving my writing nothing more than a shambled heap of disjointed thoughts haphazardly strung together.

    I failed every class I took because of this. Once I was diagnosed, the college gave me more leeway in how many classes I could take and repeat. They discounted my earlier GPA as being ?negatively affected by unknown biological and learning issues.? The university was then able to put me in touch with a councilor from the disability support services, who gave me the tools to write better and focus on my studies for longer than 30 seconds. I now average above a 3.0 per semester, and I have had 2 semesters where I achieved a 4.0 in an Aerospace Engineering major. It may take some time and effort on your part, but seriously improving your writing and your grades can be done. If you have insurance, it will often cover the cost of testing. By the way, I am writing this letter by myself, and will not have anyone look it over before I post it so you can fully see the improvement.

    The writing problem aside, let?s talk about what you want to do with your life. I have to agree with Josh here, you should defiantly go to your local community college. But don?t stop there. Even though they typically get a bad rap, community colleges tend to be smaller than a state 4-year university. They also understand that most of their students are having a hard time, and the professors and councilors are genuinely interested in helping you.

    My first semester in community college, my councilor told me to take any class I wanted. Then, after the first semester, she looked at the classes I took and their associated grades and she was able to give me a short list of jobs I would enjoy and suggest appropriate follow-on classes to narrow down ideas. Find a guidance counselor or advisor like that, and you will soon have a plan for the future.

    Because community colleges cater mostly to people who are in rough spots, they offer more scholarship opportunities. My parents were fostering their nieces (ages 2 and 4) when I went to community college, and the college counted that as a ?financially difficult situation? and sliced my tuition in half. They sliced it in half again for working with learning disabilities. I didn?t pay more than $300.00 per semester in tuition, and all the books were available at the library for a semester long checkout. All you have to do is fill out the FAFSA.

    While you are in community college, you should take the opportunity to check out some of your ideas for your future. I would suggest you go volunteer at the local pound or shelter to see if you could really handle taking care of dogs for a living. You could also volunteer or work at a suicide hotline to see if you can deal with other people?s problems for a living. I am not sure where you live, but in some areas publicists hire interns to help them out, you could try landing one of those jobs. I also suggest working part time (no more than 20 hours per week) and using that money to ease your financial burden.

    If you are apprehensive about dropping back to community college, I have actually seen employers look on that kind of experience with favor. They see it as proof that you are dedicated and willing to work for what you want, which is becoming a rare trait in young professionals in various fields.

    Just one more comment. This is not a comment from me, but something I have heard many people in the corporate world say. When someone ends a letter or e-mail with ?have a blessed day,? they are calling on god because they feel somehow inadequate or inferior. Employers often see that ending as a sign of incompetence or lack of self-worth, which will lower your chances of being hired and heard once you are hired. I just don?t want that to hurt you in the future.

    Aisha, I truly wish you the best of luck, and If you need any help, ask and I will give you my e-mail. Good luck. Sorry for the super-long post.

  17. ” (If that sounds harsh, believe me, it?s better I tell you now and you fix it now than have you find out the hard way by getting rejected my money-givers later on).”

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t it say “rejected BY money-givers”, not “my money-givers”? Obviously we all make mistakes…

    Anyways, if going to a historically black university is really important to you (and I assume you picked it in the first place because of that), then maybe you feel uncomfortable with switching to an in-state school. If that’s the case, then take a break. Sometimes life in school really gets you down. In the last year alone I’ve dealt with stress-induced depression, insomnia, my dad losing his job, panic attacks, a moped crash, and a host of other crap. and sometimes you just have to stop, take a breath, and say “enough!” If you need the time to get your life together, then take a semester off. Your university should have some type of procedure that allows you to do this and come back without any problems. Just make sure that you actually follow through and come back! Your first priority has to be your health, and that includes your mental health. School is really important, but it is not everything. Get a job or an internship or something to fill your time, and focus yourself. Right now you are spinning off in all sorts of directions trying to figure out just who “Aisha” is and what you want to do with yourself. And believe me, i understand how overwhelming that is.

    Lastly, it is important to bring your GPA up. I think part of that can be fixed by stopping to assess where you’re at and what YOU need, but the other part is a mental attitude adjustment. When i graduated high school, my grades were ok. I only really tried my last 2 years to get good grades. And when i graduated, i sat there and looked at what i had done and said, “gee, i wish i had tried harder from the beginning…” And really that’s what it took for me to get this done right. I have worked really hard through all my problems, and as long as i knew i couldn’t have tried any harder or done any better, than i am satisfied. But when you sit there and wallow in your problems and worry and let it get you down, you can’t focus on the things that need to get done (i.e. school work and studying). Sometimes you?ve got to tell yourself, ?if I don?t do this, it won?t get done. No one will do it for me, and it won?t do itself.? That mantra has really helped me, and maybe it?ll help you with whatever path you decide.

    Sorry this was so long, but I really felt the urge to respond? Good luck! <3

  18. I honestly don’t understand how Alisha was accepted into college.

    College is not “that place after high school.” It is an institution of higher learning, and in order to attend, one needs to have … learned [basic English?].

    Sociology is a major within the humanities department. It is unacceptable for a humanities-based student to possess an elementary knowledge of the English language (grammar, syntax, and punctuation).

    My advice is for Alisha to move back home and take a year off to pursue a full-time job. During this time, she should probably enroll in community college for English classes. After a year, she should not only have some money saved up, she will also be better prepared for college.

  19. Ok, first of all, if your starting GPA is bad, when you go back to the community college, think about starting over fresh. A couple of colleges won’t make you transfer your GPA, you can just take a placement test and start fresh.

    Second, MOVE BACK HOME! Even if you don’t live in the same house as your mom, you would still pay less tuition. The less debt you acquire during Gen Ed. time the better off you are later on.

    Third, research everything you can about your career choices. Would you have to move in order to keep your business afloat, and what are the demands for that type of job (i.e. when you graduate will you have a job).

    Also, for the sex/marriage therapist, I don’t know a lot about it, but I am an OT student, and they are often working with the same patients. It isn’t just a job of sitting down and helping a troubled couple get back together. Sometimes there are couples who have spinal injuries and have no lower body feelings and has problems with “leaks”. Other times it may be a teenager with a disease that keeps her from taking birth control and she wants to have sex with her boyfriend and needs to know how she should position herself and what other forms of protection she should use. It can become very intense and emotional so if you decide to do this, speak to an OT or a PT in your area and see if they can give you information about the field.
    Once you have done this and know that this is something you want to do for at least until loans are paid off, then start looking for a college out of state.

  20. I think she needs to go home and go to community college. Not only for financial reasons, but also so she can focus on developing her writing skills in an environment that’s less judgmental than she’ll find in university courses.

    I’m sorry – it was just incredibly painful to read that letter.

  21. Kofi Brinkley

    I’m a student at an HBCU and I ALWAYS give advice to my colleagues about financial aide and admissions. Tell Aisha to contact me so that we can get her on the right track. My situation was similar to hers when I first got to school and although I don’t have a stellar GPA I find money.

  22. I think it bears mentioning that college degrees are sometimes overrated. How many people graduate with a bachelor’s degree and still have no job? If Aisha is interested in a doggy hotel, why not get some experience actually working in one? There is no reason in the world you need to get a degree to run your own small business. Millions of hard-working, productive citizens lead comfortable lives because they just get out there and do something instead of thinking a diploma will land them a stellar job.

  23. Not a comment of my own perse, but after reviewing the comments on this page, I’d highly recommend taking a good look at Ashley’s comment about career counseling options, Jennifer’s comment about researching career choices (and she might be good to talk to for more information about sex therapy), and especially Jayne’s comments about communication styles and how to get help. Everything else has been said very well of course, repeatedly, but these three comments especially should be given extra consideration for getting to the heart of the difficulties you face and how to overcome them.

  24. For Blake Harrington,
    Blake, forgive me here, but, you are ASSUMING she is black, so is that not racist of you? She stated; “Hi my name is Aisha and I have alot of questions for you I got to North Carolina A&T State University which is a historically black college I feel historically black colleges don?t get enough funding for the students …..” She did not state that she was black. She stated she is going to a “HISTORICALLY black”…
    which could mean that she is white going to a college that is predominately black, if it historically black, then that leaves it open that some white students attend there also. Why do we have to throw racism into everything? Sheeesh.

  25. I would personally recommend you write a personal mission statement (don’t worry – you can change it). It gives you something personal to work toward. It does not have to be lofty (and you won’t have to punctuate it – as long as you yourself can read it – because it is just for you). Write about what you want and why.

    Lock yourself in a room and spend the time to do this. It will give you direction. It will give you personal involvement. Instead of someone else’s plan it will be yours. Recognize why it would be easier to do something plus pros and cons of why you should and should not try a career path.

    It can be as big as: I want to pet four dogs a day.

    It can be as big as: I want to mine the moon.

    It can be as big as: I want to change society by ______.

    After writing YOUR mission statement you can apply it to your schooling plans.

    If you need unconditional love in you life everyday and don’t mind cleaning up feces and administering medications via shots (worst scenario) and such maybe you need to get a dog. If you can be an alpha (and not let a dog get away with stuff) then this might be a job for you. Look at dog trainers and vet technicians to see what that job entails.

    Victoria Styles and Cesar Milan both have very different approaches/philosophies but they get the job done – and both are on cable/satellite.

    If you can listen to other people?s problems without judgment and genuinely want to help maybe that’s what you should do. (I have heard through several unrelated counselors and psych people that most of them go into the psych professions to help themselves.) Make sure it’s what you want to do.

    Be sure to take into account the way you learn and your attention span. I know I don’t do well with long term projects (read that as: gets bored easily). I know I need change and challenge on a regular basis. I know I also need accountability. I wrote my mission statement with these attributes in mind.

    I fought my way through many years of major depression, PTSD, Seasonal Affect Disease and am still suffering through a bad marriage until I graduate. I have four beautiful children whom I homeschool and am responsible for. I have a husband who makes too much but doesn’t feel like my education is worth the time or money that goes into it – seems to always get into a big argument with me when I need to hand in a major project.

    I took the in-state community college route first. I took a few continuing education courses with pass/fail or no credit options just so I could see that I could take the courses. I then went to a community college and pretty much aced all the courses I have taken there.

    I am now getting a Bachelor of Technology in the interdisciplinary studies department at a four-year in-state university concurrent with classes at the community college. This moves me closer to my personal mission statement of saving my own language and culture for my children through indigenous language studies, film, indigenous culture studies and business. My GPA is 3.98 after a 3.95 class in an indigenous language. As a junior, three more years to go!

    I firmly believe that if I did not have a mission statement to refer back to, I wouldn?t still be plugging along, my grades wouldn?t mean as much to me and I wouldn?t have met so many wonderful people who are working in my fields. I would have quit at Applied Business Management and one film course.

  26. @ Jane What an inspiration you are! You have addressed an important issue with such tact, and the personal account grabs one’s attention.

  27. Charne' Thomas

    You should go home. Paying out of state tution is absurd. Go home and sit in the park or backyard etc. and think about what is important to you. Think about what your passion is and what you can see yourself doing with the rest of your life. Can you see yourself a doctor, lawyer, dog hotel owner etc. Whatever makes you happy is what you should choose. Don’t do anything half way. Be the best person you can be.

  28. It’s amazing how a majority of the people on this site want to give advice to Aisha on her grammer, but fail to see how many grammatical errors they are making in the process. It’s absurd and should be embarrassing for those of you trying so hard to correct someone when you, yourself, are also incorrect.

    I won’t give advice to Aisha. That’s been done already several times over.

    Just please, read people!!!

  29. in my opinion it better be something that she is really comfortable to her and will be easy to control

  30. ummm hi you guys im aisha and first i can write good its just i type fast and never reread what i write a problem i know but you guys bashing me like im a retard and i really didn’t want my letter posted i just want private advice that really bothers me you didn’t ask me before you posted it but thanks to all who gave me adivice even thou yall didn’t really help me it stuff that i knew of already but anywho thanks and good day

  31. @Blake Harrington

    You are absolutely ignorant. Josh did her a favor by telling her plainly that her writing would need some work before submitting applications for money. He also went on to explain other steps she could take to improve her situation. It may sting a little, but the truth will certainly be an important asset to her future in school and beyond.

  32. ” ummm hi you guys im aisha and first i can write good its just i type fast and never reread what i write a problem i know but you guys bashing me like im a retard and i really didn’t want my letter posted i just want private advice that really bothers me you didn’t ask me before you posted it but thanks to all who gave me adivice even thou yall didn’t really help me it stuff that i knew of already but anywho thanks and good day”

    Boo hoo, either put in the effort to write effectively or do not bother to write. You knew how things worked around here when you sent your letter. If you do not want to look like a retard, try not to sound like one.

  33. Aisha is the type of student giving today’s generation a bad rap. First, I would have never submitted anything to a website without having reread it. Thinking that just because it is submitted to a website that sentence structure, punctuation and spelling do not matter is unbelievably naive. You never know who is reading the email/post. It could be a potential donor, employer or your peers. I am not sure how she was able to get into college with her lack of writing skills, but it would probably explain her poor grades. Reading and writing are the basis for all learning.

    I agree she should go back to her home state and apply to a good local community college. Many of these have cheap dorms you can live in also. Once she has an associates degree she can transfer to just about any other 4 year university she would want to. This might give her time to explore all career paths and narrow down a more definite direction. I agree with setting goals, writing mission statements, and making plans. Try joining a student organization like The Society of Leadership and Success as they can help you learn how to do these tasks and teach you other leadership and success skills.

  34. Hello, I agree that the community college is the best option for now. I went to one, and then transfered to a great school. My advise would be to go to the career services office and ask if you would be able to “job shadow” a professional in the three career options that you have in mind. Job shadowing is when you “shadow”/follow a professional for one or two weeks. You observe what they do on their daily routine and get to learn if that is really what you thought it would be and if you like it or not. If career services does not provide it, look for a place where you would like to job shadow a professional and ask them if you could job shadow a person working there. Also ask your school at career services if they could back you up in asking professionals on your own.

    Best of luck

  35. Wow. The hater-rade is strong in the comments section today.

    If I had a dollar for every time I’ve made a typo in a resume or scholarship application, I’d have cashed out and moved to a private island years ago. I can’t tell you the number of resumes and applications where I’ve written content as “cotnent”, political as “poltical” and so on. That’s not including forgetting to email writing samples, forgetting subject lines, and everything else novices typically do (hint: multitasking doesn’t help).

    I agree with Josh, Aisha. You seem to be in the early stages of deciding on a career, to which I say: take all the time in the world. No, seriously. I imagine you’ve joined every conceivable club in the world looking for a career path, and you know what? That’s okay with me.

    As for those who say leave and go to comm college, I say not so fast. Depending on whether or not you’re on scholarship or school loans, ditching the life of an Aggie for general ed courses may or may not be a good idea. Even if you drop out, you might find yourself having to paying prematurely for it in the form of a really expensive tab, which can add up to a lot if you’re not careful.

    Did I mention that you can’t declare bankruptcy if you’re in debt?

    If I were you, I’d get some English tutoring at your alma mater’s ASC center. The students on campus are probably more understanding of your position, and can offer tips and tricks to make your pitch more, well, colorful. I’d also take advantage of career services and get a self-assessment of what you _really_ want to do with your life, versus what your family or strangers think you should do. They could help out on the job and resume front too (never too early to get your PR job off the ground, I can say that for certain.

    Josh is right, but ignore the haters. Keep your head up. And believe in yourself–whatever you do, I know you can succeed.


  36. I thought it was kind of humorous that RIGHT AFTER Aisha was told to have someone read over her work, there were at least 2 errors.

  37. Hi, Aisha.
    Well, I agree with Josh. Aisha, you got a mind of your own. Please use it wisely! Your smart, but your slacking in school, paying tuition that’s very high and you can’t afford it. Just go back home and go to a school near your place, benefit from it. Don’t put your self down. I mean it. You can do whatever you set your mind to. Vest believe that. Apply for scholarships that best suit you. Also, get a job where you can pay off the money left.
    Best of luck, Aisha

  38. Hello Aisha,

    Loans, to me are synonymous with the worst kind of discomfort. I only take very small necessary interest-free loans.

    Going to a community college was never part of my plan. When the opportunity came up, after much unsuccessful effort at gaining admission into a university due to financial difficulties, I did not hesitate. I took a double major in Mathematics and Biology, and earned a distinction (4.62 on a 5 point scale).

    Yes, some students in such colleges lack focus and are there primarily for social reasons. I made clear to any one who tried to entice me into wasting my time on irrational social activities that I was there for academics. I made a lot of enemies, until it became clear I had the highest GP among my set (over 2000 students). I maintained that throughout my years there and silenced my critics.

    I got admitted to a university to read undergraduate medicine which has always been my initial plan. And, an even worse crisis ensued with some of the lecturers. I, single-handedly, fought the battle and won. My grades were, of course, terribly affected. I, now, seek a transfer, and the issue of funding comes in. One thing is clear though: NO LOANS, definitely not. I have spent the last six months researching for funding. Another thing is clear: DON’T GIVE UP, I can not afford to.

    So please, my dear girl, ponder over any choices you make. Feel free to request my email.

    Take good care of yourself and keep moving forward.

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