Outlaw Student

Caitlin & the State-School Blues

Judge Josh — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 21:49:53 +0000

Caitlin’s feeling a little down in the dumps about the college aspirations she once had for herself and the reality that’s seeming to be a little different these days. I’m guessing there’s a few dozen of you out there feeling the same way.

Hello!

I’m a recently graduated senior and salutatorian from a high school where most kids come from very poor socioeconomic backgrounds.

Hey, you sound a lot like me. Me in 1992.

I’m a sperm bank baby, my mother has never been married (and thankfully doesn’t bring around boyfriends either!),

Thankfully. Now that you’ve got me thinking on it, I can’t say that I’ve ever heard a specific *advantage* of a mom who brought a bunch of boyfriends around.

and I have no siblings. However, I’m still lucky enough to have an EFC around the $20,000 mark, meaning no aid, and my mother is already stretched thin because of our mini-farm, and cannot help with a PLUS loan or other expenses (but she wishes she could…).

This octopus will NOT eat Caitlin.

Bummer. I’m an only child myself, and financial-aid time was about the only time I wished I had about six or seven brothers and sisters.

Anyways, my sophomore year I got a scholarship to take classes at a local community college in tandem with regular high school classes, and spent my junior year on a scholarship-funded foreign exchange (only person at my high school to ever go on a year-long exchange, to the best of my knowledge) to Germany. Although I knew no German beforehand, I became fluent and even wrote a little book in German about the differences between the American and German cultures. I translated it into English and submitted it as part of a portfolio and even won a regional journalism award from the National Alliance of Young Artists and Writers.

Wow, that’s an excellent entry on your resume, Caitlin. The foreign language fluency is great on its own, but having authored something in the second language is even better.

Sadly my senior year I was COMPLETELY overwhelmed with reverse culture shock, a heavy course load (remember, extra classes at the local CC), and marching band. Not to mention, I returned to America with just 16 years under my belt, and was intimidated by the extreme pressure I was under. And I cracked.

How exactly did you crack? Just curious — you’re salutatorian, so I’m guessing you didn’t crack so badly that you derailed your academic career.

I threw away my dreams of going to a top of the line school for Northern Arizona University, because it just seemed safest for a kid afraid of starting off an independent life. And the bills were less intimidating (I received a tuition waiver).

Well, a couple points to note here:

a) You’ve just now graduated from high school, so whatever dreams you think you’ve “thrown away” can be snatched up out of the trash as soon as you’d like to do so. You’re waaaaaay short of the whole “point of no return” thing, so you’ve still got the option of going whichever way you decide is best for you.

b) Having said that, starting out at a smaller, cheaper school is nothing to feel bad about. In fact, in a lot of cases, it’s an extremely smart move. The first two years of college are awfully similar for students in community colleges, small schools, big schools, prestigious ones and not-very-prestigious ones. In most cases, you’re gonna hack away at some relatively generic required coursework: science, math, English, history, humanities, etc.

Now, sure — you may have to work harder for an A in Philosophy 101 at University of Chicago than you will at NAU. But wherever you’re taking the class won’t change the amount and content of what Plato and Aristotle wrote during their lifetimes. It’s the same for everyone, and my point is, you’ll get out of the class exactly what you put into it.

And not for nothing here — the school where you take those first two years of intro classes will very likely have NO overall effect on the rest of your life. Sorry — for most people, it just won’t. So don’t beat yourself up over that, because it’s all in your head. In my life, I’ve found very little correlation between people who live happy lives and people who went to academically rigorous colleges. It’s much more about you and your attitude than the school you attend.

However, I have started to feel inadequate. I applied to over 24 scholarships (I eventually received three local ones and one from NAU, but up until March 23rd I had received only rejection letters),

Hey, that’s one out of every six applied for that you’ve won. Nothing to sneeze at, homegirl.

but it sucks to be told your whole life that smart people go to college for free – and then having a reality check.

It’s true, reality checks of elevated hopes always suck. However, it’s good to get them, because they get you in better touch with reality, and from there you can move forward with a more educated and realistic approach.

Truth be told, high-achieving smart students often *can* go to college for free — just not ANY college. We’ve got millions of those students here in the U.S. alone, and the elite colleges may only be able to accept a couple thousand of them apiece. But as I’ve said, you don’t need an elite-school education to achieve any goal.

And if getting an elite-school education actually *is* your goal — then you should come up with a different goal. Education is wonderful unto itself, sure, but for most students, it’s a means to an end, or at the very least a door-opener to the great exploits they want to achieve later in life. And again, very few exploits require an elite-school education.

Another big reason for me choosing NAU is because I come from a small town, with the typical mentality that you’re not supposed to ever leave it.

Whose mentality is that? Trust me, even your biggest hometown boosters expect most small-town kids to leave the nest for a while. They’ll tell you they want you to stick around (and sometimes they’re even telling the truth!), but even in the tiniest of towns, they expect you to go off and do your own thing for a while.

Doesn’t matter, though, what anyone else’s mentality is — it’s yours alone that matters. If you wanna stay, stay; if not, go. It’s your life, and you don’t owe anyone else input into that decision.

I feel like it’s an octopus trying to devour me.

Eh, I’m guessing a lot of that’s in your own head. Do what you want to do — the world doesn’t have much choice but to adapt. Try it and see.

But that’s not what I want, I don’t want to go to a university like NAU that no one’s ever heard of.

If you don’t like NAU, don’t go there — BUT, don’t go there just because “no one’s ever heard of it.” I’m being a little tough on you here because you and a million other college students get way too caught up in what other people think of where you’re going to school. I was that way myself back in school, so I know how you feel.

Here’s the reality, though: for the most part, once you’re out of college for a couple years — no one cares where you went to school. Sure, Harvard and Yale will always have a great ring to them no matter how old you get, but short of that — people stop asking after a few years, and that’s because it no longer matters (in the job world anyway).

I want to get a stupendous education, because I respect myself and think I deserve it. But this struggle has just left me feeling… like I can’t make it. After my freshman year my plan is to transfer to a more competitive university with an amazing economics program (although I’m still working on my search, some examples are University of Chicago, NYU, MIT), and hopefully to one with major endowments so that I can receive more aid.

So, would you mind assessing my situation and telling me if my plan is feasible?

It’s more than feasible — but you need a change of mindset, quicklike, if you want it to happen. We both know that Chicago, NYU, MIT — these are very competitive schools, right? If you get in, you’re going to have to bust ass to succeed. But, if you can’t slog your way through a year at a less competitive school like NAU, you have to honestly assess your chances of succeeding at the top schools. If you can’t hack a year at NAU, you won’t make it at MIT.

So…do you have what it takes? Judging by your list of accomplishments, I’d say sure, certainly you do. You’ve got the tools — you just need to buckle down and apply them, and the first part of that is believing you can do it. Which, you can — if you want to badly enough.

As a bit more background, I recently organized a book drive for a local group home, have more various community service, was a member of a handful of clubs, scored 2100 on the SAT, and did a study on perceptions of socialism vs. capitalism (3rd place at a science state fair). Especially with these credentials, I’m shocked that other kids who I personally know are getting scholarships that we both applied to, even though they don’t have nearly the same credentials.

I couldn’t say since I haven’t seen the other students’ resumes, but again — yours looks pretty good, and if you can keep up the level of work and squeeze out your absolute best efforts, you should be fine wherever you end up.

I think I have issues marketing myself. I don’t see anything else that could explain it, other than kids getting chosen for local scholarships over me because they’re more popular and known by the judges.

Help?

Yeah, you definitely have to market/sell yourself well, and for what it’s worth, that NEVER changes at any point in your life. In fact, the need to do so only intensifies as you get older and further along in your career. That’s a whole other post, though.

In sum — you seem like you’ve got the tools, but you just need to accept that your current spot is just fine, even if it’s not what you imagined it would be a couple years back. Don’t screw it up now because of pessimism — you’re going to look back on this time and see that you were sitting in a fine position. You don’t want to regret tossing away whatever dreams you have because of a false perception that you’re somehow screwed by being at a state school at age 18.

Hope that helps!

—

What about you all — what should Caitlin do? Let us know in the comments below.

Should a Man Go To Cosmetology School?

Judge Josh — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 18:18:05 +0000

Jordan wants to go to cosmetology school, but is it too — you know, womanly?

I have read many of your article and posts and I have come to a conclusion that you are quite a knowledgeable person, which is what I really need right now.

Well, thank you very much. Glad to be held in esteem, my friend.

This man needs Jordan's help.

I am a 22 year old mature male and I am entering into Cosmetology school to become a Cosmetologist. I have been to a traditional university when I graduated High School but found that I wasn’t interest in any of its diverse majors.

Sounds fair to me.

I withdrew from the university and began working full-time to pay off the student loan I had taken out. I now work as an office manager which is a great position with good pay but I am not satisfied. After some so-called soul searching I had discovered something I am interested in and actually good at.

Well, if you’ve already gone to college, left, gotten a full-time job to pay the bills, done some soul-searching and then found your calling — all by the age of 22 — you’re way ahead of most people, Jordan.

I come from a traditional family where anything Cosmetic related is a woman’s forte and business and engineering is a man’s.

Hmmm, I wonder if you were a girl, they’d try and dissuade you from becoming and engineer…just sayin’

I have little to no support from my family but it is something that I really want and enjoy doing. I toured the school that I want to attend and I have found it is filled with intellectually immature just-out-of-high-school females and little to no male students.

Well, that doesn’t sound totally off-base, but really, if it’s what you want to do, it shouldn’t affect you any. Sad to say, but there’s no escaping intellectually immature males or females, regardless of where you go or how old you are. Trust me on this. You just have to learn to tune them out and do what you gotta do for yourself.

I enjoy being around people and working in cosmetic grooming and like to help people bring their style up to the next level.

Then you’ll probably be pretty good at your job.

The male demographic in the cosmetology field is quite low but I heard from a my local cosmetologist that males in the field are in demand.

If you’re worrying about getting hired because you’re a man, you shouldn’t. Yeah, cosmetology is always gonna be a female-heavy profession, but it’s not that men aren’t welcome. They just usually choose something else.

And hey, not for nothing here, but being the only man surrounded by tons of women is not always a bad thing. Plenty of dudes I know would love to be in that situation (in theory, anyhow).

Am I too old and mature for this decision I am making?

At 22, you’re not too old for anything. And you’re never too mature to do anything, either. If it’s what you want to do and you think it’ll make you happy, then do it.

Should I go against my families expectations and objections and pursue cosmetology or just stay where I am at? I could really use some sound advice right about now.

You only have to answer to yourself, Jordan. I don’t know your parents, but in general, parents can get over a lot of things they initially object to if it means their kids turn out happy. I don’t know how strenuous your parents’ objections are, but honestly, it wouldn’t change my answer.

I admit, though, that I have very little understanding of parents who saddle their kids with “expectations” that are really none of their business. I have three kids of my own, and honestly, why should any of them owe ME a say in what they do for a living when they’re adults? That’s ridiculous.

You’re a grown-up. You can and should do what you want. End of story. Especially when it comes to some stupid 50s-era perception of which jobs should be done by whom. Here’s what your parents’ expectations should be: that you become gainfully employed, reasonably self-sufficient and not a criminal.

After that…it’s really not their business. So, go forth and cut hair, my friend.

Thank You

You’re welcome.

– What about you all? Think Jordan should pursue the cosmetology course of action, or pursue something a little more manly? Let us know in the comments below.

Supporting a Family While Going to School

Judge Josh — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 17:12:34 +0000

Franklin’s a passionate guy with many interests. He also has many responsibilities, namely supporting his family. He wants to go to college. How can he pull that off?

Hey Josh, how’s it going?

I’m sleep-deprived but overcaffeinated, so it should balance out long enough for me to give you a decent answer here.

Hopefully you can point me to in the right direction. I’m a bit of a multi-talented, hyper passionate soon-to-wed father with a retail job and a dream.

$5 via Paypal for the first commenter who knows why I chose this image.

Multi-talented, hyper-passionate, dreams and employment are all very good things. You’ve already got a pretty good start, Franklin.

Skipping my focus problems and what it is I want to do- I haven’t a clue how to attend a college while being the main financial support pf my family (my fiance’ is also in school).

Well, I don’t mean to oversimplify it, but — you apply to college, apply for financial aid, and see what kind of aid package you get. If you can carve out the time for a couple of classes each week (and based on the rest of your note, I think you can) and you make the money situation work, you go. It’s really that simple.

One of us has to work full time to keep a roof over our heads (right?) and that person is me.

Possibly. Maybe not — depends on what kind of aid package you get. Remember, financial aid is not just designed for tuition and books — it’s also designed to allay the external expenses you have while you’re in college, including the roof over your head and such.

My fiance’ has a scholarship for three more years of school and can’t afford to take anymore time off (no school=no scholarship).

Keep that scholarship at all costs, for sure. But, I’ve really never met anyone who couldn’t afford to work some kind of part-time job into their school plan, even if it’s just 5-10 hours per week.

There’s always the option of trying to set up a means of income by fixing computers, singing at weddings and events, performing magic shows, Selling Avon, and trying my hand with the stocks (all things I actually do-minus the stocks) but that would require more time than what I have to really set up a good schedule and business model (not necessarily impossible though).

Well, those are all worthwhile ways of making some extra scratch, for sure (although I wouldn’t monkey with trying the stock market if money is tight). Remember, you’re just trying to make whatever money you can. You don’t have to have a perfectly functioning schedule and spotless business model. Just hustle whatever cash you can manage to grab.

I truly have to go to school because I’ve made my life mission (besides spreading love and joy, being a loving and faithful husband, and raising a productive American) the goal of starting a school. A school which would require lots of expertise in many areas, as it ambitiously seeks to produce prodigious, compassionate people (there’s a mouthful).

Sounds like a good plan to me.

That said, I’ll require a lot of school.

Also true, probably, yes.

How can I possibly get the education I need when I have to pay bills (oh yeah, I have those too, but it’s not the worst) and effectively father a child (which involve being around from time to time)?

The fatherhood part isn’t easy, of course, especially if you’re the type who actually likes to spend time with your kid. Then again, look on the bright side — your situation is exactly why student loans and grants were invented.

The government likes multi-talented, hyper-passionate people, Franklin, and it wants them to get educated and fulfill their dreams so they can actually grow up and be successful and pay taxes. It really does. However, it does also realize that everybody’s gotta eat and can’t live under a bridge (especially if you’ve got a child).

So, there’s federal financial aid. Get loans and grants, then cut back your hours at your job and use the loan and grant money to make ends meet while you’re in school. Bonus: you get extra time with your kid that way, too.

Additional notes: I’m a minority.

Good news for scholarships and financial aid.

I’m on the verge of testing for my A+, Net+ and MCP IT certifications. I sing, write, play the piano, perform magic, dabble in psychology (including some counseling experience), sell Avon, was an excellent math student, like squirrels, am learning the banjo… trying to utilize your hint here with these TRUE facts to help you help me.

Well, you’ve certainly got plenty of tools to help you get side money. The computer certifications are great for that, as is the magic. Avon and banjo, probably not as much, and I think you threw in the squirrels thing just to see if I was paying attention. In any case, you’ve got plenty of tools to cover your nut, as the gamblers say, while you’re in school.

If you can give me a bit of direction, I appreciate it Josh.

Thank you,
Franklin

You’re welcome, and I think I’ve covered it in the above. Good luck to you, and please come back and let us know how it goes!

–

What about you guys — any tips for Franklin on how to make it all work while going to college and supporting a family on one income? Let us know in the comments below.

First Family High School Graduate. Wait For College?

Judge Josh — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 22:56:30 +0000

Lashawn thinks she’s got it worse than I think she really does. Almost to the point where she’s considering skipping college for a bit, but I think that’s a bad idea considering her setup.

I’ll be the first one of my family to graduate from high school, let alone go to college, so there is a lot of pressure.

None here, Lashawn — just a big fat double thumbs-up straight at you.

I have no idea who this is, but I'm assuming that he's now too old too sue me over using his picture. Or at least too old to be visiting this site.

When it comes down to financial aid my family won’t be contributing in any way. Things have always been very hard for us financially. So I’ve been considering waiting until next year to start college so I can work, save, and maybe have a better shot at getting a scholarship.

Well, before even getting to the rest of your note, let me stop you and say that this is one of those very rare times in life where it’s actually good to be broke. If your family has very little money, you should be eligible for a lot of need-based financial aid, including the dandy Pell Grant and FSEOG award.

I’m not extremely picky about what college I go to, like I said I’ll be the first anyways.

Well, if money is tight and you’re not picky, my usual recommendation is to consider community college. It’s usually a very cheap option, and it gives you the chance to sample the introductory courses in a variety of fields of study — again, for very little cost.

I’ve been to six different high schools so it’s been difficult to keep my grades competitive. Right now I’m just trying to hold on to my B-average.

Hold on to it as tightly as you can! Lots of scholarships have cutoffs at 3.0, do whatever you’ve got to do in order to keep it.

It seems like everything is falling apart at the last minute. I haven’t filled out FAFSA because everyone said that I needed my mom’s tax return to do it. The problem is she never filed because she only made a few hundred dollars last year. Now I’m afraid it may be too late.

It’s not too late. You actually have until the end of June 2012 to fill out your FAFSA for the 2011-2012 school year. The sooner the better, sure, but you’re nowhere near too late.

Also, I made a 25 on the ACT but I was going to retake it to score higher to get in Columbia College that offer full tuition for students who make a 26 or higher. But the day of my test I wasn’t able to go because my Aunt died and her funeral was on the same day.

25 is a fine score, but sure, if you can get free college out of it, study up and buck for another point.

I wanted to get it switched to the next available date, but we can’t afford the $20 transfer fee.

Yes you can. Borrow it, panhandle for it, or outright steal it if you have to. If it means the difference between a free college education and a not-free college education, you can afford much more than $20. And, luckily, it’s just $20. Borrow it. Get it from somebody.

My sister said that she could get me a job working with her.

There ya go.

I’m starting to think that taking time off to work and save some money before starting school is my best option. I’m just really confused about what I should do.

Understood, and I’m glad you wrote, because it sounds to me like your instincts are taking you in the wrong direction. Although it may not seem like it, you’re in a pretty good spot.

You’ve got a B average, you’ve got an above-average ACT score, you’ve got lots of financial need, and you’re a minority. You, my friend, are poised to get some free money for college.

First item of business. Fill out the FAFSA. Like, RIGHT NOW. Do not wait any longer. The quicker you apply, the better access you’ll have to state money (federal will be there regardless).

Second item: Retake that ACT if you think you’ve got a shot at getting a better score. Every extra point you earn can make a giant difference in the amount of aid you’re offered.

Then, come back and let us know how it all goes. I really want to follow what happens to you (and so will the folks at home). Thanks!

– What do you think LaShawn should do? Go now, or work and save some money? Let us know in the comments below.

Summer School vs. Working For Extra Cash

Judge Josh — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 15:45:31 +0000

Adam’s situation is much better than a stick in the eye. He’s been accepted to his dream school, but they want him to pack up and leave pronto. If he waits, he might make more cash at a summer job, and who knows, maybe even get a fat scholarship — at a less competitive school.

Hi Judge Josh, I’m a senior in High School and I’ve been accepted to a school that I’ve always wanted to go to and that I’ve heard has an excellent computer program, which is good since I’m planning to major in Computer Science.

Every single one of you is way too young to understand this picture reference, but that's just too damned bad. I'm using it anyway.

Congrats!

The problem with this is that they told me I had to start in the Summer term to be able to reserve a place for me in the Fall term which I applied to. This didn’t really make sense to me but as I was looking around apparently they do that to quite a few people and don’t let you defer until the term you applied.

Interesting. I guess that’s their way of securing an earlier commitment from you.

I’ve also submitted an application to Utah State University, a less prestigious college but near the same cost and a possibility that I’ll get a decent scholarship as well, though I haven’t heard back yet. I’m pretty sure I’ll be accepted since they tend to accept around 90% of the people who apply (according to Cappex anyway) and I’m well above their required ACT/GPA.

In that case, I’d tend to agree with you. Sounds like there would a very, very slim chance you’d get rejected. 90% acceptance rate is about as automatic as you can get outside the community college system.

The problem I’m facing is that I was planning on working full time this summer to raise a bit of money for college, but I obviously can’t do that if I go two weeks after I graduate High School. What should I do?

Well, if you really want to go there and it’s a great program, I’d go. And if you need cash, do as much part-time work as you can while you’re going to summer school. That’s the short answer anyway, but let’s explore it further.

My parents have saved me a little bit of money, so I should be good for a semester or so, and I’m doing alright as a freelance web developer at the moment, so I could do that part time to possibly pay for the rest. Should I go with my first choice even though they require me to go in the Summer, or go with my alternative and have a little bit more money and time to get ready?

OK, a couple things here:

As for the summer thing — it’s only three(ish) months earlier than you’d be going for the fall semester, so unless you’ve got some super lucrative gig lined up for the summer, you’re probably not going to accumulate that much more cash by staying home at working. Especially given the fact that you can certainly still work part time while you’re going to summer school (and especially-especially since you’re apparently already doing freelance web development, in which case, you don’t even have to leave your house to do that work).

A bigger factor in the decision that you haven’t mentioned, I think, is the difference in the financial aid packages that both schools offer you. I mean, if you worked full time all summer long, you MIGHT be able to sock away and extra $2-3k, and that’s if you’re super-frugal and live like a monk and squirrel it all away.

However, Utah State could easily come back and offer you, say, $10,000 more than Prestigious University (or so we’ll call it for the purposes of this discussion) in financial aid. Or, who knows, they may give you a full ride for all we know, and in those cases, you’re talking about big-money savings of the magnitude that might make a guy reconsider his dream school.

All that said, I don’t know what Prestigious University is offering you already, and how much it costs vs. Utah State. If the offers are comparable, I’d say go with your dream school. If Utah State’s coming with a giant or full-ride financial aid package, then you’ll have to weigh the costs a little more carefully. I’d never take the offer of a free education lightly.

However, I most definitely wouldn’t hold back from your no. 1 school based simply on having an extra summer of work. The difference in the cash you’ll pocket is going to be so small that you’ll barely notice it in the grand scheme of things — nowhere near the added benefit you can realize from a prestigious and rigorous CS program.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

– What do you guys think? Should he wait it out and see what Utah State offers, or should he hitch his wagon to Prestigious U? Let us know in the comments below.

Engineering vs. James Bond

Judge Josh — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 17:40:52 +0000

Lots of students who write me have a career-choice dilemma on their hands, but none quite like that of RDX. Which is the writer’s name, btw. I like it.

I think if I was going to have a three-letter moniker, I’d definitely have the last letter be X. JDX. How’s that sound? Anyway, here’s RDX’s dilemma:

Hello Judge Josh,

I read your blog all the time and it is very informative and entertaining.

Thanks, and thanks!!

I’m currently studying in my second year in mechanical engineering. Earlier I had a plan of pursuing my bachelors in mechanical engineering and then my masters in aerospace engineering, but now I’m sort of confused whether I should continue with my current plan or go for my other interest i.e government armed forces.

James Bond Lesson 1: Get that finger off the trigger when the barrel is resting on your face.

Well, a master’s in aerospace engineering is not poorly suited to the Armed Forces, since they crank out the most sophisticated aircraft in the world. Or, you know, they contract it out to places like Lockheed Martin, but still, they’re right up in there with some serious aerospace engineering.

I always had a passion of being a detective (of course James bond movies have attracted me, even though real detectives are not like james bond).

True, at least from what I see on “The First 48.” Mostly they’re just workaday Joes who get precious little sleep and no time with their family because they’re too busy solving murders. (Exception: Detroit. Those guys never seem to solve anything.)

I’m interested in being a detective, but at the same time I am also interested in being an engineer. I’m very technical and possess skills of both areas.

Well, that sounds great so far. Being skilled in multiple areas rarely, rarely hurts a guy.

Though my brother is offering me a job as an operations manager in his business after I graduate, however his business has nothing to do with engineering and is all based on service product selling. If I continue with engineering or my brothers business I will make enough money for a livelihood but usually detectives are one of the lowest paid people.

Well, I agree — engineering itself and the sales of engineering services are both probably going to turn out a helluva lot more lucrative than being a detective. Not to mention, you’ve got some built-in hurdles if you want to be a detective for an actual law enforcement agency.

You need to first have some law enforcement training, the amount of which varies from place to place. Some places you have to have a college degree just to join the force. In the smallest of small towns, you can get on board with a high school diploma and a clean drug test. In those towns everyone’s a detective, but the volume of action is pretty low.

In a larger police force, though, you can’t just be a detective right off — you’ve got to grind out several years at other lower-end posts before you can make detective.

The quickest route to becoming a detective for you is probably to become a private detective, which is a lot more unregulated and therefore faster. I’d point you in the right direction of a good place to start for some private-dick education, but that’s well beyond my sphere of knowledge, I’m afraid.

I looked into Embry Riddle, which is offering both a masters in aerospace engineering and masters in global logistics (i.e. related to detective stuff).

I believe that’s gonna be much toward the engineering side and not so much the detective stuff. A disclaimer here, my dad is an Embry-Riddle grad and I wrote a separate post about Embry-Riddle way back when. It’s a great aerospace school, but you’re not going to learn to be a detective there.

In the future I can go there and pursue a masters in both, but the problem that kicks in is where will I get the money because I am not an american citizen/resident, and I want to do my masters within 5 years of my bachelor degree, and the confusion still stands as what should I choose as my career path between the two because I’m interested in both but if I have to choose one so pursuing a masters in both would be kind of foolish.

Well, I’m not sure exactly what you’re thinking in terms of being a detective, but if you want someone else to pay you to do that, you’re probably going to have to do it on your own as a private detective. The pay there is low as well, but at least you’ll be your own boss, and also, you can wear tuxedos, drink martinis and charm ladies at your complete discretion.

Then there’s always the CIA, of course, if you’re looking for more excitement than chasing around cheating spouses and investigating insurance fraud (although I suspect that CIA spying probably isn’t quite the adrenaline rush that all the Bourne movies make it out to be, either). However, it’s definitely international espionage, right? And they’re always looking for people.

James Bond would be proud of you, RDX.

Thanks for your help,
RDX

You bet.

What about you all? Any aspiring or current James Bond types out there with advice for RDX? Let us know in the comments below.

Should the Valedictorian Drop Out?

Judge Josh — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 23:15:13 +0000

Stella’s got problems. She was the valedictorian in high school, headed for great things, and now things are off the rails.

Hi, Judge Josh! First of all, I love your blog.

I like you already.

I’m in a bit of a tight situation. My college is more or less running me bankrupt. I graduated valedictorian of my high school, so you would think the doors would have been wide open for me.

I would, yes. Congrats on the valedictorian thing! (Valedectorianship? Valedictorianism?) That’s one of those things, by the way, that will still impress people when you’re 50. I was a co-salutatorian, and somehow I still earn esteem points here and there for that one.

However, I suffer from an extreme depression and anxiety issue, so I only wound up applying to four colleges.

Well, four is plenty, really. You can only choose one (at a time) right?

Because I am paying my own way entirely, I picked the school that gave me the most money: Prescott College.

The school made a lot of promises they never fulfilled. Because they hardly ever grade anything, I lost my $10,000 scholarship due to not being physically able to submit my grades to the providers.

That’s strange. I don’t quite understand that. You don’t get a report of your grades at the end of each semester and your transcripts aren’t available to you?

They also revoked my on-campus work study position, saying that I was not the type of person they wanted interacting with their students and customers (I am a lot more conservative and traditional than most people here).

I have to be honest, Stella — my skepticism meter is going crazy right now. I’m guessing you’re leaving out some details here? I’ve just never heard of anyone losing their job because they’re conservative and traditional (although I’m not certain of what specifically you mean by that).

Did the depression/anxiety manifest in some inappropriate behavior toward customers? Did you end up lashing out at someone, not show up for work, etc.? I’m kinda left to my own devices here to figure out what happened, but it sounds like SOMETHING did. What was it?

I missed the transfer deadline for spring, and now I’m stuck in a school that hates me until at least fall.

Well, I definitely hope it’s not the case that the entire school hates you, although I totally believe that it may feel that way. Doesn’t seem much doubt that you hate IT, so if that’s the case, and you’ve also got no scholarships and no jobs, then yeah, I think getting the hell out of there one way or another is a solid idea.

The other major issue is that the school does not provide on-campus housing. We are expected to find our own places to stay within the community. With so many rental agencies having a “no student” policy, the only thing I found was an apartment that costs me $600/month. This was fine…until they took my job and my scholarships.

Well, I assume February rent is paid, right? So about three months left before you can finish the semester and then take off. You can grab a different job in town to earn rent money until then, even if it means Taco Bell. It’s better than bailing on a semester’s worth of college credits.

Exception to the rule.

My father wants me to just drop out and come home before I can bleed any more red ink. However, I’ve already paid for spring semester, and I’d hate to think of them keeping all that money ($15,000) for nothing.

Yeah, I tend to side with you. I see your dad’s point, but then again, your dad loves you and knows you’re unhappy and probably wants to make it all better for you asap. I’d want to do the same for my daughter in that position.

But yeah — if you’re passing your classes, I’d hate to see you blow off the tuition money you’ve already spent and not get any credit for those.

My father makes a great point that this school is costing me far more than I could ever earn in scholarships, and the loans are continuing to surmount.

That’s true of any school, pretty much, except for those on full rides.

Do I drop out and move back home? Or stick it out until I can transfer?

Stick it out, then transfer.

Are there any ways to bring in money when the entire university seems to be working against you?

Yeah — go get a job, homegirl! Outside the university I mean. They’re out there. Many of them may suck, but they do pay, and you just need some extra cash right now. Unless you can score yourself a roommate at this late point in the semester, which is possible but might be tough.

Thanks for reading this, I know I can be long-winded.

You’re very welcome.

– What about you guys? Should she suck it up for the rest of the semester or hit the road back home? Let us know in the comments below.

Sneak Off To Another College?

Judge Josh — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 17:57:13 +0000

Aly is a daring lass with a plan that might actually make a great screenplay, as long as there were a lot of screwball antics and coming-of-age challenges to overcome triumphantly.

Dear Josh,

My parents have decided that instead of allowing me to go off to college next year, they want me to attend a local, community college instead.

Gotcha. Well, you probably know that’s an idea I tend to endorse a lot around here for some people, depending on what their plans are.

I know that this isn’t the right path for me, and I am determined to go off to the college I’ve chosen.

Gotcha. I don’t really have any details of what you want to do or what you’re looking for in an education, so I can’t add much perspective there. I’ll take your word for it, though.

College or bust.

I already have a way of getting to said college, and my friends have said that they would help me, but I’m afraid of getting caught.

Hmm, I’m filling in a lot of blanks on my own here, so bare with me. I assume you mean that someone can physically transport you to the school, so I assume it’s far away?

When you talk about getting caught, you mean by your parents. If they think you’re close by at a local community college, and then you go far away, aren’t they going to find out anyway?

Another thing is trying to finance the school. If my parents let me go, then tuition will be covered, but if they don’t I’m practically broke, seeing as I haven’t been allowed to get a job, and I still don’t have one lined up.

OK. And we’re assuming that they’re not going to “let” you go (i.e., they’re not going to pay your tuition if you go).

Do you have any advice for this?

Sure — from what you’ve told me so far, it seems very unlikely that this plan will lead to anything good. Sounds like you’ve got the part about getting a ride out of town (or the area, or whatever), but after that, it’s kinda wide open.

If your folks aren’t going to pay at the school you want to escape, then that’s definitely a problem. Even if you get a lovely financial aid package, anything short of a full-ride is going to cost your family something. Your EFC (estimated family contribution) from your FAFSA has to come out of your pocket, and if you can’t pay, and Mom & Dad *won’t* pay…well, either you’re going to have to find somebody who will or you can’t go.

Is there any chance at all that you can can negotiate further with your parents and get them on board? Do they understand fully why the community college route is not for you? Can they afford to pay for the school you want to attend?

In a spot like this, it seems negotiation is your last, best hope. You can’t really show up on the doorstep of your first-choice school (you’ve at least been admitted, right?) with no money or plan to pay.

And if you take off by surprise and end up at the other school, your parents are probably going to feel pretty betrayed, and that might damage any further chances you have for them to *eventually* get on board with your plans.

Thanks in advance,
Aly

Sure. Sorry if I seem like a downer, but the current situation does seem ill-fated. I do wish you the best of luck, though, and I hope you’ll maybe fill us in on some of the details down in the comments section.

– Speaking of comments, what do you guys think? Stay the community college course or elope to …wherever? Let us know in the comments below.

From Canada to Harvard Law School?

Judge Josh — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 19:43:02 +0000

Rebecca’s a Canadian student who’s transferring in the States to marry her CanadiAmerican fiance. Many congrats in advance to the happy couple. But she has big dreams of Ivy League law school and wants to know if her current plans will translate into admission there.

Hey Judge Josh,

Thanks for all the great advice you give on here! To jump right in, I am currently a Canadian student in my second year of an undergrad degree, attending Laurentian University in Ontario. However, next year for my third year I will be going as an exchange student to Northern Arizona University.

Mr. Bottomtooth will only be impressed if you kill the LSAT, Rebecca.

Well, you’ll be glad to know that there won’t be too much climate shock. It can still get damned cold in Flagstaff, although the summers are lovely.

I will be marrying my American boyfriend in the spring (he has dual citizenship and we are moving to AZ together) and will then hopefully transfer to and finish my degree at NAU. Once finishing my BA in Psychology, I want to attend law school. Hopefully by that point I will be an American citizen.

Bienvenidos a los Estados Unidos, Rebecca!

I currently have around a 3.9-4.0 GPA. My question is, if I want to attend an Ivy League school like Stanford or Harvard, is the fact that I have completed half my degree at a Canadian university and the other half at NAU going to be detrimental to my chances of admission?

Well, just so you know, it is a hellaciously difficult task to get into Stanford or Harvard law schools regardless of where you went to undergrad school. They are, according to my data, the 2nd and 3rd most competitive law schools by acceptance rate in the U.S. Stanford admitted 9% of applicants in 2009, and Harvard admitted 12% (If you’re keeping score at home, Yale was tops at 7.3%).

So, while not insurmountable and certainly not impossible, getting into Stanford or Harvard Law is, in all fairness, brutal and against-the-odds. Those who get in often go to very competitive undergrad schools, and unfortunately neither NAU nor Laurentian is in that highest tier of competitiveness. So I don’t think the Canadian-school thing matters a lick, actually — but the fact that both schools are lower on the competitive scale is definitely a strike against you in an already uphill battle.

What’s the antidote to all this? LSAT scores. If you’re going to get into a great law school, you’ll have to destroy the LSAT. So study up! Also, you’ve got to keep your GPA super-high. You pretty much can’t afford anything less than an A at this point. And again, this is IF we’re looking at Harvard and such.

You do need a safety school or two, given the long odds. ASU and U of A are both fine law schools that’ll be a hell of a lot easier to slide into than the others. Don’t forget to apply to them, or another safety school of your choosing.

Oh yeah, here’s the site I got all this acceptance data from:

http://www.ilrg.com/rankings/law/index.php/1/asc/Accept

I currently am shadowing a lawyer here in Canada, and am trying to take electives such as sociology and political science which is what law schools here tend to look for on a transcript. I have not yet taken the LSAT, but have started studying for it and will continue to do so for the next year or so. I feel quite confident in my chances of scoring high enough to satisfy admissions at these schools.

I’m definitely not saying you can’t do it, but I do want to manage your expectations. It won’t be easy — you’ll have to have a killer score on the LSAT and a killer GPA to make it. Study hard, good luck! Let us know how it goes!

If you could give me any advice on this, it will be greatly appreciated. Thanks again, Judge Josh!

Sincerely,
Rebecca

You bet. Good luck!

Is Tattooing Worthy Of My Art Degree?

Judge Josh — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 16:35:04 +0000

Jacob’s a tortured artist — and he hasn’t really even started being an artist yet! I imagine his situation and mindset are not uncommon, though, for art students about to jump into the professional world.

Hi Judge Josh,

I am at a crucial moment in my educational life. I will graduate next semester with a BFA in Fine Arts with a concentration of Illustration from UConn.

Congrats!

Frankly, I am terrified. Sometimes when I think about my future, I mentally shut down.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, so do I and so does everyone else from time to time, so you’re not alone!

In the summer between junior and senior year, I received the option to pursue an apprenticeship in tattooing. He wanted $1000 up front in cash. After considering my options, I backed out, not only knowing that I probably wouldn’t succeed in keeping my grade up amidst the constant commute between school and the tattoo studio, but it just seemed really shady to me.

Is there a more beautiful canvas? Oh, Jacob, I think not.

Well, I couldn’t say for sure whether the dude himself was shady or not, but apprenticeships are fairly common in the tattoo world.

Since then I have been trying to make up my mind as to what direction I want to pursue outside of college. A large part of me is still opting toward a tattoo apprenticeship.

Well, the trend of tattooing the living shit of ourselves here in America does not seem to be stopping anytime soon, so I don’t think that’s a bad decision if it’s something you think you’ll enjoy.

I’ll be out of school, and will be able to devote myself to the task.

True, and outstanding. Sounds like a great start.

However, I feel as if that trade won’t exemplify the skills I have picked up in school.

Maybe it will, maybe it won’t (it probably will, but let’s just leave it open for now). You have to ask yourself what your objective is in your career — to do something you enjoy and get paid well for it, or to display all the skills you’ve learned.

If that sounds biased — well, it is. Most people don’t end up with a job that shows their full array of skills that they learned in college. It just doesn’t end up that way most of the time.

The good news is…that’s fine. No big deal. I don’t mean to oversimplify, but hey, if you like what you’re doing and it pays the bills, then that’s a fine situation to be in. Most people don’t have it that good.

I can tell you this from experience, because I’ve done the same thing you’re considering. I have a master’s degree in journalism from the University of Missouri — a program LOTS of prospective journalists wish they could get into. And since the day I graduated, I’ve used the skills they’ve taught me — well, almost never. I jumped to online stuff, then software, then advertising, and now it’s college-advice blogging for God’s sake.

Doesn’t matter. As long as you’re happy doing it, then hell, who cares what you went to school for? Sometimes the value of school isn’t the exact stuff you learn, but the fact that it puts you in the right place at the right time.

Secondly, it feels somehow unprofessional. Given the popularity of Kat Von D in today’s media, I may be wrong about that assertion.

Well, Kat Von D is just the latest example of the world’s changed mindset about tattoos; the real story is the mindset itself. And that is, they’re extremely normal now — they aren’t the symbols of rebellion that they used to be. Tats stopped being rebellious about the time that sorority girls started getting their letters tattooed on their ankles.

The other idea which seems less financially secure but more palatable is to push my illustration talents into the publishing field, painting book jackets or illustrating for picture books.

Tattooing is probably less competitive than that, but that’s really the only comparison I can make. Artistically, they both have merit and which has more is up to you, completely.

However, I feel that this doesn’t quite fit what I really want to do, which I have yet to discover. The only thing I know is that it has to do with art. I guess my problem is not having a concrete plan for the next several years.

Hey man — neither do most people. Really — they don’t. Your plan should probably be something like this: get a job, see if I like it, start dabbling in other stuff on the side, see if I like that stuff, and then in a few years, choose what I like best and go forward a happier dude.

And that’s not just for art people, by the way. That’s everyone’s story, pretty much.

It’s shocking to know that in a year, I won’t be in school, and wonder what I will be doing and where I will be. Hopefully living in my parents attic, I certainly don’t want that fate.

I think you meant hopefully not living in the attic, but yeah, hopefully not. But if you do — eh, you’re not alone. Just keep plugging away until you get out. It won’t be the end of the world. Plus, the attic probably has really low rent.

And I don’t want to get caught working at the job i’ve had since high school; that won’t do neither. I’ve thought about the Peace Corps, to give me some more time, but I just feel like I don’t know why I’m on this earth yet. My purpose has no aim, my wings no wind to power them. The more I write the more confused I get. . .I’d appreciate any help you can offer. I think about this every night now; my palms sweat because I’m facing my future like a knight staring down a dragon, except instead of a sword I have a feather duster. I just can’t figure myself out, and its alarming.
Honestly, any help in hashing this question will earn you my gratitude and an internet high five.

Well, I am all about a good Internet high-five.

You’re overthinking it, my friend. Sure, it’d feel nice to have a road map at your feet to follow, but you know — that’s not really an artist’s life, generally speaking. And even if it were, you’d be extremely lucky to have that kinda thing mapped out at this point, at your age.

This is an old metaphor, but it’s true: if you’re taking a trip across the country, you don’t wait to leave until all the stoplights are green at the same time. You just go. And when you get stopped, you stop, and you figure something out, and then you keep going. I wouldn’t generally steer a guy away from the Peace Corps, but really — if you’re just looking to buy time, you might as well take an entry-level job and make some money while you wait.

If you have talent and desire (and to a lesser extent, a degree), you’re not holding a feather duster. You’ve got the sword. You just have to figure out where you’re gonna use it, and that can take time.

But you’ve got plenty. Be patient, and you’ll find some answers.

Thank you,
Jacob

Sure thing.

– What about you guys? Any advice for a struggling artist? Let us know in the comments below.

Art Double Major vs. Soul-Crushing Debt (35)

I Was Raped. Should I Tell The Committee?

Judge Josh — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 19:38:45 +0000

Sarah was finishing up a stellar undergrad career at a very selective university, and then she was raped. That changed things, but it didn’t derail her, and she needs some advice on how to continue righting the ship.

Hi Judge Josh,

Hi!

I’m a longtime reader and fan of your Q&A section, just never thought I’d be emailing you myself. First time for everything, I suppose.

I’m a second-semester senior graduating a year early, and I’d like to go straight into grad school if at all possible. The issue that I have is with a dip in my GPA this semester.

OK. That doesn’t sound too bad…

I’ve pulled around a 3.8 all through college, which makes me a competitive applicant for my target grad schools, if not a surefire success (think big, British and outrageously selective).

Simon Cowell. Or Oxford. Got it.

The problem is this semester: I was sexually assaulted right after Halloween, and finishing the semester at all required a lot of emotional stamina and strength.

Good Lord. I am sorry to hear that. I’m also gonna spare you the platitudes and eggshell-walking that you’ve probably heard way too much of already (from strangers, no less) and say congrats on mustering the strength to keep going through all of it.

A received a few A’s, a few A-’s, and then a few grades that I’m not sure about yet but I’m sure are not good at all.

Understandable.

I just don’t know how – or even if – this should be addressed in the application.

Well, it’s gonna depend on how bad the final grades are, and if they knock you down to the point where they become something you are going to need to explain in order to get what you want. Let’s just say Oxford, to spare me some typing.

There’s no spot for “what traumatic event happened to you that killed your GPA?” and even if there was, I find it a lot harder to talk about this than I would my parents’ divorce or being diagnosed with something.

True, there’s no spot for that, but there often is a more open-ended personal statement, etc., and that’s a place where you might want to consider discussing it: a) IF you think you need to, if the GPA drop is bad enough that you feel you have explain it away, and then, of course, b) if you can bring yourself to do so.

It was hard enough to discuss my assault with my university and my professors; I’m just not sure how I can bring it up without sounding like I’m begging for empathy or something.

I understand that completely.

I’m not sure if I made any sense. My foremost priority this semester after making sure I was physically okay was trying to salvage my GPA, especially because it IS such an important semester for me, grad school-wise. Everyone who tells me that my GPA doesn’t matter clearly doesn’t know the British system, and all I’ve wanted my whole life was to go to Oxford or Cambridge.

Well, even a guy like me who very often says “GPA doesn’t matter” always hedges that with “…unless you’re going to grad school.” So sure, it matters a lot, in the UK or the US or anywhere else.

I refuse to let the assault ruin my life more than it has… I’m just not sure how to talk about it without sounding like I’m trotting out a sob story for pity.

Well, here’s the thing about that. You’ve got two forces butting heads inside you, right? You want to put the assault behind you and move on, BUT, you want to go to Oxford. And they might need you to explain the GPA, and that might mean you need to rehash the assault.

So, when it all comes down, you have to choose which of those things you want more. You’re never gonna hear me tell a rape victim that she must tell a group of strangers about the whole ordeal. However, I get the sense from you that you’re pretty motivated to do this whole Oxford thing, and will probably gut out at least one more retelling of the incident if that’s what’s required to get what you want — and, as you say, to not let it derail your life any more than it already has.

Thanks for letting me vent, and thanks for any help you can provide.

Of course. Let me just add that, if you do decide to tell the story, then there are very few people who are going to read that essay and think you’re trying to heap pity on yourself, and then knock you for doing so. I mean, it’s rape — shy of getting killed, it’s the worst thing that can happen to someone. So even the most hardened among us are not going to read your story of rape and think about what a whiner you are.

Second, I think that if you tell the story, you may end up making yourself look like an even stronger candidate than you would’ve been without the dip in grades. I mean, as you know, it takes giant balls to talk about something like that with anyone, let alone a group of anonymous strangers.

Also, the rape and its aftermath and how you’re handling it does actually change your story a bit. In my opinion, it’s evidence that you’ll let nothing stop you, ever. And that, as I have mentioned elsewhere on this site from its very earliest days, is the no. 1 thing we (scholarship judges, but also admissions committees) look for when we’re handing out money: students who we know are going to make it. You know, ones who won’t fail out, drop out, or just start generally half-assing it when things get difficult.

If I’m reading your application and you tell me your story and, in whatever words you choose, tell me that you’ll be damned if the rape or anything else is going to stop you from achieving your goals, then you’ve won me over. And very quickly. LET HER IN. She will not disappoint us.

The fact that you’re plowing forward attests to all the good qualities that people see and have seen in you up to this point. I’m not going to be so insensitive as to say “turn it into a positive!” because that’s just messed up. But let’s strip away ALL the other bullshit details that are ever written about on these pages and ask the only question that ever matters: “What do you want out of life?”

For you, right now, I think that’s Oxford. And the followup question is: “Are you willing to do what it takes to get there?”

I sense that you’re willing to do a lot to get there, and if that means telling your story, you will. If you’re not willing to tell the story, then hey — you’ve still got my full support, because that’s a personal choice you have to make. But still, *that’s* really what the choice boils down to:

Thing I Really Want vs. Shitty and Uncomfortable Obstacle To Getting It.

Don’t worry about the committees — they’ll be fine with it. And please, let us know what you decide to do, if you’re OK with sharing it.

– Heavy topic today, lads and lasses. Should she talk about the assault, or should she keep it private? Let us know in the comments below.

Should I Mention My Criminal History?

Judge Josh — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 16:45:06 +0000

Shiro’s like a rapper. Or, at least like a lot of rappers pretend to be. He’s made something of himself, but his past is a little sketchy. Had to do a little hustlin’ to get by back in the day.

Hi Judge Josh,

I am applying for a scholarship program and I have difficulties deciding what to say. My background is a very complicated story.

Sure, let’s hear it.

My family is not so rich so when I was a kid, I found ways to make money. I didn’t care what kind of jobs they were as long as I could make money.

Fair enough.

I downloaded illegal software, movies and sold them back at half prices. I went to someone’s house and cleaned up their houses 3 times per week. I worked in a restaurant which paid me cash only. I didn’t need to pay and file any income tax for these jobs. The jobs were not good jobs, too.

Criminal history: Good for Fiddy, bad for you.

Understood. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Should I include these jobs in my resume or my autobiography? Downloading illegal stuffs is obviously illegal, so I will just forget about it.

Yeah, let’s not include the illegal stuff. While there may be some people out there who sympathize with criminal activity out of necessity, there are plenty more who do not. So don’t mention that stuff. As I mentioned before, the only profession I know where mentioning your criminal history actually HELPS you get work is being a rapper. Otherwise, keep it quiet.

Cleaning house sounds like a low class job ( and I don’t know how to call that job anyway/ maid???).

Word to the wise, FYI — just because you’ve mentioned English isn’t your first language — be careful using the word “low-class” here in the U.S. Those are fighting words in a LOT of places I know.

But yes, I know what you mean, of course. You mean it’s a gig requiring no special skills and pays low wages. However, that’s not a bad thing to put on an application. Putting in your time at shitty jobs is kind of a rite of passage, so no judge is going to look down on you for it. In fact, generally speaking, it makes you seem like a hard worker who’s not a primadonna about doing tough things to make ends meet.

And my work as a waitress is a cash-only job ( that’s also illegal)

True, but just mention the waitressing part. Don’t mention that you were paid under the table. Waitressing and bartending are the quintessential get-myself-through-college jobs, and no one will bat an eye at this. Also, no one will think for a second to wonder whether you were paid properly, illegally, or whatever.

If I cannot include these jobs in my resume, then should I include them in my autobiography?

Include them both places. There’s a time to leave menial jobs off your resume, but you’re not there yet. You leave them off your resume once you’ve graduated from college and applying for a job in your field of study, or perhaps while you’re still studying and applying for an internship.

But again, you’re not there yet — you’re just starting out. So it’s entirely appropriate for someone like you to have waitressing and housekeeping (that’s what we call that job, by the way) on your resume.

Will the judges report me to the police? ( I think it’s not likely to happen but possible ).

Not for what you don’t tell them! I agree, it’s a long shot that any of them would ever report you to the police, and even a longer shot that if they did, the police would even lift a finger to do anything (sounds like anything illegal you may or may not have done was far outside their jurisdiction anyway).

But anyway, get this through your head fast — don’t talk about illegal stuff you’ve done unless it’s absolutely necessary. Just a good rule to live by.

I can also write that I did these jobs but already stopped doing them, but I am afraid that would affect my image as a good student.

No, no. Not at all. Well — the illegal downloading, yes. Even though everyone knows that millions of people do that and it’s not exactly considered armed robbery, you still shouldn’t mention the illegal stuff, because yes, it will tarnish your image.

But again, the waitressing and housekeeping jobs are very normal to have on your resume. Nothing at all wrong with those, so keep them there.

I am sorry for the long letter, but this will be my last question. I need 2 letters of references. I have an instructor who know me very well. So my first letter is not a question. The second instructor doesn’t know me very well. He can write, but I think the best he can make is around 350 words ( the maximum length of the letter is 1000 words).

OK. Well, 350 words is plenty to make the point about someone, so I wouldn’t worry about that. What’s more important is what he’ll say in those 350 words.

I have another friend who graduated from UW’s Foster school. He opens a restaurant near the school. He is older than me 15 years. I know he can write an excellent letter for me, but he’s my “friend”.

That he’s your friend doesn’t necessarily disqualify him from writing you a letter. Probably better in the committee’s eyes, though, that he has some relationship with you other than just being a friend. Otherwise it may just look like a buddy doing another buddy a favor.

Did you work for him? If so, it’s better that he write you the letter of recommendation from that perspective.

So who should I ask to write my second letter ( my friend or the instructor who doesn’t know me well). I read your article about letters of references, but I still cannot decide. My life depends on this scholarship.

If you have no other relationship with him than just being his friend, I’d probably opt for the other professor. Usually it’s established in the first couple lines of a letter *how* the writer knows the student, and if there’s not a good mentorish, or teacher-student type relationship there, it’ll seem fishy.

Thank you soooooo much for your time. Love your website. Its very inspiring. Always help me to stand on my feet again when life beats me down on my knees.

Thanks! I’m honored to hear that and I appreciate it.

Sorry if I made some grammar and spelling mistakes. English is not my native language.

No problem. It will, however, give you problems on your application, so be sure to have a lot of people proofread it for you before you turn it in. Thanks, and good luck!

– What about you guys? Include the criminal history? Friend’s recommendation over the professor’s recommendation? Anything? Help me out here, people, I’m tired today. Let us know in the comments below.

I Want Baylor. Parents Want Ivy League.

Judge Josh — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 22:48:08 +0000

Danielle wants to a be a neo-natal nurse, and she wants to go to Baylor, which is an expensive private school. Mom & Dad don’t approve…but not for the reasons you might expect.

Hello there.

Hi.

I’m a Senior in high school in Oklahoma City. I’ve known all of my life that I’ve wanted to go into a medical field. My parents were thrilled when I decided to pursue being a doctor.

Sometimes, parents deserve to be ignored.

Sure, who wouldn’t be?

So I went to a medical forum and came back realizing that being a doctor wasn’t for me. Instead, I wanted to be a nurse (that didn’t exactly go over well).

I’m sorry to hear that. Sigh… I can tell that for the rest of this post, I’m just gonna get progressively more irritated with your parents. (**trying to keep an open mind**).

However, if you’d like an impartial adult professional’s opinion — nursing is an excellent career choice. Nothing to apologize for at all, and most parents would be completely fine with this choice.

To make them feel better about my choice, I started shadowing at a Neo-natal ICU to make sure I want to be a nurse.

Great! It’s an excellent thing to do for yourself, let alone your parents. Listen up y’all reading at home — any time you can take a practice run at the real thing before committing to it, do so.

And I love it!

Excellent.

I thought the third degree from my parents was over after they finally came to terms with my career choice.

I’m guessing it wasn’t.

Here’s the reason I am coming to you for help: now they aren’t happy with the choice of college I want to attend for nursing school.

Great.

I want to attend Baylor University in Waco, TX. My parents are wanting me to attend a college like Yale or UPenn.

(trying to control my anger)

They want me to go because “a degree from a prestigious college will have employers coming to YOU” (my dad’s words).

Sorry, Dad — you’re absolutely wrong.

1) Even when you go to a top college, you still have to find yourself a job. Nurses don’t get wined-and-dined the way can’t-miss professional athletes or tort lawyers do.

2) Baylor is a great school. It’s not Palookaville Institute for the Dumb.

3) Sorry, but I think I can already tell that’s NOT actually why they want you to go to a prestigious school. They want you to go to a prestigious school so that they can tell the other parents and people they know that you’re going to a prestigious school.

Oh, also the fact that since our family’s income was slashed from about $120,000 to $60,000 since he lost his job 22 months ago, I could go to Yale or UPenn for almost nothing. Baylor’s tuition is $40,000 a year and I’d get a lot of financial aid, but not nearly as much as the choices my parents like.

I don’t think you should be so certain of that. You haven’t mentioned what your credentials are (I’m assuming they’re great), but all else being equal, you’re more likely to get better aid from a less-selective school. Baylor’s good, but of course, your parents are correct in that UPenn and Yale and the like are a notch up in terms of prestige.

This means that if you want to get a full ride to an Ivy, you have to present credentials that are even more impressive than Baylor’s going to want for the same award. A free (or close) education at an Ivy is TOUGH to get.

I’m not saying you *can’t* do it, because I don’t tell anybody that. I’m just saying…it’s not a foregone conclusion, that’s all.

Baylor has everything I’m looking for in a nursing school and I feel comfortable and happy there. But my parents are set on me going somewhere else and I don’t want to disappoint them.

There’s a time for pleasing Mom & Dad, and this is not it. You haven’t told me a ton about your parents, and so I’ll give you my standard disclaimer about parents — I don’t know yours, don’t know details about them, etc. BUT:

From what I’ve gathered from your email, they don’t seem to care much about what YOU want and what will make YOU happy. Seems they were pissy when they you decided you wanted to be a nurse — for no discernible reason.

And it seems they were pissy all over again when you chose a school that wasn’t one of the top 10 universities in the entire country. Why? I have no idea. Well, I do have an idea — because they want to brag about it others, and Baylor doesn’t sound as nice as Yale.

I don’t buy the argument from any parent who behaves this way — and they all say this — that they just want what’s best for their kid.

Bullshit. Sending a kid into $200k of medical school debt when she doesn’t want to go to medical school in the first place isn’t looking out for your kid. It’s looking out for your own ego.

Insisting your kid go to an Ivy when he/she is perfectly happy with an alternative — especially when we’re talking about nursing, a profession where jobs are not scarce and an expensive education is not required — is not looking out for your kid. It’s looking out for your ego!

I’ve read your posts about whether you should follow your dreams, but I was hoping you could answer my question directly. Baylor sends out acceptance letters from the first round in December/early January and I want to know my decision is a good one.

I think it’s fine. And I apologize in advance if you think I’m being too harsh on your parents. I mean, I have parents, and I’m a parent myself, and I wouldn’t want somebody banging on my parents too hard, even if I knew they were wrong about something.

But again, it’s my job to go against them here when I think they’re steering you wrong, and here, I think they are.

My guiding principle around here is to do what makes you happy. If you’re happy being a nurse and you’re happy going to Baylor, go to Baylor and be a nurse. What your mom or dad or creepy uncle or next-door neighbor or state senator want you to do — all that is secondary.

I appreciate you taking time to answer my question. I’m completely lost on what to do.

Yeah, that’s my advice. Hopefully your folks will come around. I really would be shocked if you weren’t offered considerably more aid from Baylor than from the Ivies. And if that’s the case, there’s another weapon in your arsenal to explain to your parents why it’s a good idea to go there.

Good luck, Danielle! Let us know how it goes!!

– What do you guys think? Are her parents out of line, or do they have a good point? Let us know in the comments below.

Bad College Advice, Volume I

Judge Josh — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 18:59:52 +0000

Man, Rebecca’s been getting some terrible college advice. I want to thank her in advance for allowing me to smash some of it here in a public forum.

My question has two parts. I will be graduating with my A.A.S in Accounting this December with a 3.6GPA after taking classes for four years.

Congrats!

It has taken me over the standard two years because of two reasons: I did not receive aid for the first half of my classes so I had to take them one or two at a time, and also because I switched from Business Administration to Accounting after taking my first Accounting course. I have been told that this would look bad on my resume because it would look like I worked slowly and wasn’t dedicated to my classes.

There's no way this guy could give advice that's any worse.

Whoever told you this has absolutely no idea what they’re talking about, so a) don’t worry about it, and b) stop speaking that person about anything related to your education and career.

It’s community college. One of its core purposes is to educate working people who are, you know, working a lot and cannot go to school full-time. By the logic of your advisor/friend/whoever, the entire endeavor of part-time education would be deemed laziness.

One of the reasons I attended community college was because I have worked full time the entire time I attended (even when I was taking classes full time).

Eggggggxactly.

I believe that it shows I was dedicated to getting my degree and that I am able to handle multiple tasks efficiently, maintaining good performance at work and in school.

Yeah, I totally agree. And so will the people who look at your resume.

Did I hurt myself by taking so long to complete my degree?

No. Please, brush that criticism aside completely. It has no merit at all. None.

The second part of my question is that I only need one class to get my A.A.S in Business Administration because of the courses I completed before changing my degree and the rest of the courses overlapping. This one class is an intro class which will cost me under $500 including book and not take up more than 8 hours of my time a week including homework.

Do it!

It is not easy to come up with that amount of money, but I know that the degree would more than pay off that cost.

I think it would, too. It’s only $500, so it’s a low bar to clear in that respect. Honestly, even if it wouldn’t pay off in your career, I think the second degree would be worth it for vanity’s sake. You know, the cachet of people discussing you as someone with a degree in accounting AND business? Totally worth $500 to me.

I feel like it would be worth it to me to have this second degree since it compliments the first, I would even complete the degree if it was only an extra semester of work. I have been told that employers may see this as excessive or indecisive.

Good Lord, Rebecca, who is advising you? I really, really hope it’s not someone employed by any institution of learning. But I have to guess that it’s the same person that gave you that other terrible advice.

This advice is even worse. If this advice were a photo of an old boyfriend, Rebecca, I’d ask you to squirt it with lighter fluid, spark the flame and watch it burn to ashes until the fire puts itself out, just so you can absorb the finality of such bad advice leaving the Earth, and, by extension, your life.

Is obtaining multiple degrees in related fields excessive?

No, and especially not when they’re associate’s degrees. It’s not like you spent 12 years of your life getting Ph.Ds in each.

And especially when you didn’t actually pursue two completely different paths of study to get them — they just happened to overlap. Again, by your advisor’s logic, any dual-degree program would be excessive, when in fact, they usually mean you’re a highly motivated student.

All of this advice seems unrealistic, but I want to make sure I am not just sugar coating my choices and options.

Nope, no sugar.

What is your opinion? (I also have a certificate in Marketing Management. I do plan on transferring to get my bachelors eventually, then moving on to my Masters and CPA certifications. In the longer run I see having a Masters of Accountancy with the AAS in Business Administration and certificate of Marketing Management).

I think that’s a fine plan. I think a bachelor’s in business is an excellent all-purpose degree, and a bachelor’s and/or master’s in accounting and a CPA certification will be tickets to lifelong employment. As long as we have a government who loves taxing the rest of us and as long as we have the rest of us looking for every possible way to avoid paying that government any more taxes than absolutely necessary, there will always be work for accountants.

Now, just to add a small dose of expectations-management here, I wouldn’t rely on the certificate in marketing management to mean a lot to future employers. Marketing and advertising is my chosen profession, actually, and so I can tell you that marketing is one of those professions where success doesn’t actually require ANY formal education on the subject whatsoever.

Not that degrees in marketing are bad; they’re not. They’re just not required, by any stretch of the imagination, for success in the field. And so, if you have a certificate, then that’s probably gotten you at least an education in the basics of marketing, and that’s a good thing for you.

However, those things are also fairly easy to learn on the fly and on the job — so having that certificate won’t be something that distinguishes you significantly from your peers.

But that’s the only thing bad I have to say about the entire situation you present (and it’s not even “bad” anyway). Overall, it sounds like you’re doing fine — even with two related degrees and a full-time job. Good luck! Please come back often and let us know how it goes!

– Anyone have similar tales of bad college advice? If so, let’s blast them apart together. Let us know in the comments below!

When It’s OK to Lie

Judge Josh — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 20:23:41 +0000

Sheri’s trying to get me in trouble today.

Hey Josh,

Hey!

I’ve got a pretty great thing going on. I’m currently a debt-free sophomore in college with a 3.86 cumulative GPA, my family is supportive of me, and I’ve never had any trouble with people bullying me about my race, religion, or other attributes. To be honest, my life is pleasantly boring, and there have been very few conflicts holding me back.

It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, Jiminy Cricket. (That's Jiminy Cricket on his nose, right?)

That is very, very great, I agree.

This causes a slight problem when it comes to applying for scholarships and leadership positions on campus, though. It seems like every single application I fill out, interview I attend, or essay I have to write has some variation of this prompt: “Describe a time when you made an ethical decision and overcame adversity, and describe what you learned from this experience.”

Yeah, and justifiably so. One of the most important determinants of success anywhere, in my not-so-humble opinion, is the ability to bounce back from loss, defeat, adversity, etc.

Having lived a relatively adversity-free life, I can never think of anything to say for this question.

Nothing? It doesn’t have to be anything huge, like holding your Mom and Dad over a cliff and having to choose which one to drop. There’s gotta be some hard choice back there in your experience, no? Booze, drugs, cheating on your boyfriend, cheating on a test, witnessing others doing any of the aforementioned…nothing? If you failed the ethical test and did the wrong thing, that’s cool, too.

I’m afraid it makes me look naive or somehow more privileged (and therefore, less worthy) than some of the other people applying for the same scholarship/position.

Well, it does make you look naive and more privileged, but not less worthy. Luckily, I’m gonna kick open a door for you today.

I have an interview for a freshman mentor position (basically, they help freshman learn how to thrive in their classes and stay sane) this Saturday and I’m sure the question will come up. What should I say?

Well, I’ll give you two choices:

1) Make something up. That’s right — lie.

I give the advice to lie on your scholarship application in another post on this site, and I always catch hell for it from a few dozen people, but that’s OK. It’s still something I don’t have a problem with in certain circumstances, and this is one of them.

Here’s the thing: the entire question revolves around the sensitive, personal type of situation that people rarely talk publicly about, and certainly is rarely documented. Those are exactly the types of things that a lot of people end up lying about on scholarship applications, job applications, resumes, etc. — non-provable, non-verifiable stuff.

So if you feel like you’ve really gotta show someone that you can make it through adversity AND you really can’t think of any example where you’ve actually done so in your own life, AND you really want/need the job or scholarships — sure, make something up. Who’s going to call you on it? Nobody.

Word to the wise, though — don’t tell any stories about people dying who are really alive. You know, because they might show up someday, and then you’ve got some explaining to do.

2) If you don’t want to lie, you can always use this blog post as your dilemma. I mean, you did write in asking my opinion, and I do have a lot of readers and this is a relatively high-profile site in the whole college-advice area. And I just told you to lie.

Isn’t that dilemma unto itself? Hmmm, this guy told me I should lie and pretty much guaranteed me I’d get away with it….but I chose not to, because (I’m so honest, that’s so wrong, whatever). And voila, there you have it — an ethical dilemma, served up special for you by me!

Yeah, look — even as someone who preaches the virtues of selfishness fairly often, I’m not going to suggest very often that you lie. Most of the time, you don’t need to — most people have a compelling enough story and skill set to get what they want out of life. But there are times where you have to put on a dog-and-pony show for people, and sometimes you gotta embellish a little.

That’s life, and it’s never going to change. I say, play ball. If you need throw a little bullshit out there to get what you want, absolutely, go for it. People all around you are already doing it.

Just make sure there’s nothing that stretches the truth to ridiculous proportions (“I invented burritos!”), nothing that’s verifiably false (“I have 25 years experience designing websites.”), and nothing that’ll nail you to the wall later (like claiming to speak Swedish for a Swedish-interpreting job when you don’t speak any Swedish).

– What do you guys think? Any harm in the occasional white lie to get what you want, or is 100% honesty the best policy? Let us know in the comments below.

Multiple Degrees, Same School: Bad?

Judge Josh — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 20:19:05 +0000

Jennifer’s heard the chatter about getting your degrees from different schools, if you’re getting more than one. Is it worth listening to?

I usually have a lot of input, but figured I would poll the troops.

I am finally graduating with my Associates in Business from American Military University with honors – WOOHOO. It looks like I will have a 3.8 graduating GPA providing the last two classes go as well as all the others.

I couldn't find an appropriate image for today's post, so please enjoy this photo of Kevin Federline representing the west side of...something.

Woohoo indeed! You get the double 1980s heavy-metal horns, which is the highest honor you can receive around here. \m/ \m/

With my hectic work related travel schedule and being the 40 something returning student,

Pshaw…there’s no way you’re over 39. NO WAY.

On-Line is the only way to go for me. 75% of my degree has been earned in various hotel rooms around the globe while juggling constant jet lag.

That’s pretty impressive. The only thing I ever accomplish in various hotel rooms around the globe is insomnia from watching “American Greed” on CNBC and weird European music videos on MTV Deutschland.

At the end of my education, I am looking to entrench myself in supply chain logistics/operations management.

I’m quite certain that’s a super-heavy growth field, so it sounds like you’re on a smart track. Can you promise me you’ll never sing that awful UPS “That’s Logistics!” song to the tune of “That’s Amore!” I thank you in advance.

Here’s the question…. Should I continue with the same school for my Bachelor’s or attend another school. Which will look best on a resume?

There is absolutely no big deal whatsoever about getting a bachelor’s from the same school you got an associate’s degree from. None. I mean, unless it’s some diploma meal, non-legit school to begin with.

You’re probably thinking of the argument that many people make which states you shouldn’t get your graduate degree from the same school you get your undergrad degree from. More on that in sec.

My current school offers a solid program in Transportation/Logistics and will accept some of my military acheivements, courses, and recognitions for college credit. This shortens the length of the continuing program as well as cost.

I like the sound of that.

Not all schools recognize military courses. Cost is very low at $250 per credit and all books are included. Another plus is that I can utilize Elective Credits to earn Certification for Homeland Security.

I see this added certification as a plus for any major Logistics Firm, shipping/receiving docks, airport terminals, etc. It would just fill out the resume along with my prior experience.

Yeah, I’m with you there.

Other schools have similar degrees in Operations Management that covers essentially the same core courses. I can easily choose similar electives, but they do not seem to offer this type of certification unless you take the certification program for a separate fee. Other schools have quoted from $400 – $580 a credit, books not included.

My first inclination is to stay with the school I received my associates because it makes financial sense. The school bent over backwards getting my a syllabus/materials in advance when I knew I would get slammed on the job so I could get a jump on the reading assignments.

Yeah, again — no worries whatsoever on doing the same school for an associate’s and a bachelor’s. None.

My only hesitation is how having two degrees from the same institution will look from the employers perspective. If I was looking at a resume, I would be scratching my head.

Eh, I disagree. Employers see a lot of strange stuff, and believe me, two degrees from the same institution doesn’t even crack the top 100.

But even that makes it seem like it’s a little strange, when really it’s not. Completely natural to follow up an associate’s with a bachelor’s from the same place.

Now let’s confuse this a little more … Between finishing up the Associates and starting the Bachelors I am knocking off my Six Sigma Green in a crash course 8 week program.

I have no idea what that is, but it sounds involved. (See, people, I could’ve just Googled it and bullshitted everyone and said, “oh yeah, excellent choice, Six Sigma Green, I personally endorse that,” yada yada. No college-advice columnist even comes close in admitting their shortcomings than yours truly!)

I can easily do this in the spring when I will not be traveling for work. I looked at Villanova’s program, but have heard really bad things about the company that administers the on-line training. Drexel actually dropped the company for tarnishing their reputation by not enrolling students in classes. So now I have concern with Villanova’s program because of the affiliation with this third party vendor.

OK — now I Googled it, and realize you’re talking about getting your Green Belt certification in Six Sigma. I’m not sure where you’re actually doing the 8-week program, but I’m guessing it’s Villanova, then?

Either way — I don’t know, I’m a risk taker, and I tend to think that when a company gets a public flogging and then lives through it, then you’re probably gonna be fine in the immediate aftermath of that flogging, since they’re probably minding their P’s and Q’s more carefully than ever before.

Now, this isn’t always sound logic — wouldn’t have helped you with Enron or WorldCom, for instance — but it works for me, usually, and I stick with it. So if it were me, I’d probably assume that the testing company is walking the line after getting dropped by Drexel and, I assume, losing a pretty big contract.

Would the Villanova name have more of an impact than say Apex Business School?

I’m not familiar with the Apex Business School. That doesn’t mean it’s no good, of course — it just means that I am familiar with a couple thousand schools at least, and this is not one of them.

Villanova is definitely one I’m familiar with, so yes, it may have a greater impact. However, you have to ask yourself whether the increased cost of a private school’s education is commensurate with that increased impact.

I can’t take the program through an institution where you need to present a “real project”. My employer is supportive of the education but will not assign the required project because of the classified nature of work I do. Talk about a catch-22. My only alternative is to take the certification that does not require the formal project, or allows a “dummy project” to be used.

Well, that’s a Catch-22 all right. Will either school let you use a dummy project? Obviously this will be a determining factor in which program you choose. Of course, it doesn’t sound like it’s required that you get the green belt certification now (or at all, although of course I see the employability appeal of it).

Back to the subject at hand, though — no, don’t worry at all about getting those two degrees from the same place. There’s a school of thought, as I mentioned earlier, that says you should go someplace different for your grad degree, so that you can grow intellectually by being exposed to a different set of people, ideas, communities, etc.

I’m not much on that theory, really. I understand its appeal, but its appeal exists in a vaccum. If you have unlimited time and money and no family responsibilities, then sure, knock yourself out. Trot the globe for your master’s, and then go to a third school for your doctorate.

It’s more for academic types than for people who want a job in the private sector. Private-sector employers care much more about your ability to do the job than how many differing environments you were exposed to while acquiring that ability.

And as I alluded to before, it’s not realistic or cost-effective for a lot of people to just pack up and move to a completely different place for a master’s degree — especially when a perfectly solid solution exists at their current school.

If you stay in the same place for a bachelor’s and a master’s, will it keep you from getting a job? In the private sector — not a chance. In academia — no, no chance there, either. You may get passed over some places, sure — those that really insist on the separate schools thing — but not everywhere.

Like everything else, you just have to weight it against your current circumstances and resources. But no, having multiple degrees from the same institution is absolutely NOT going to kill your chances of getting a job.

– Readers…any thoughts? Is it poison to get your grad and undergrad degrees from the same place? Is it an overrated issue? Let us know in the comments below.

I’m a Lesbian. Should I Hide That?

Judge Josh — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 23:01:20 +0000

Victoria’s a lesbian, and her experience of being a lesbian actually makes a pretty sweet answer to one of her essay questions that could win her some money. But she’s not sure if it’s a great idea.

Hi Josh,

I’m in my final year of University and though I know what I want to do in the broad sense, I am trying to take advantage of some specific opportunities that might lead me there. In addition to grad school proposals, I am working on a number of applications for exciting opportunities both local and abroad.

Excellent. Congrats!

The applications are all very similar, which is a mixed blessing. It’s good in the sense that I can write about leadership til the cows come home (leadership is my major)

I’ll be damned. I never knew leadership was a major.

but the application always ask some variant of the following; Please tell us about a time in your life where you faced a challenge and tell us how you dealt with it.

Yeah, pretty standard question these days. High schoolers, take note — start ginning up a good answer for this one. Apply polish as the years go by. Doing so will greatly increase your chances of winning some big money.

The one that I’m working on at the moment asks this: Discuss a personal experience or narrative that allows you to relate to the —– program and has inspired you to apply to participate.

I have a great one; I am a lesbian.

Awesome. Let’s do it.

There was a time when I would have given anything to be straight, but now I am proud of that fact. I have taken leadership with my orientation and try to actively be a model for younger queer girls and boys. It has even informed my academic and career interests; I want to study and contribute to queer cinema.

No complaints from me so far. Sounds like this is exactly the type of experience or narrative they’re hoping you’ll write about.

I’d like to think that because I am applying to programs who boast values of equality and acceptance that this will be accepted and even to my advantage.

I tend to agree with you. I think you’re probably in the most welcoming and accepting environment you’re ever going to find. And yeah, although no one will admit it, plenty of organizations love to give their awards to minorities if at all possible, so it’s true that being a lesbian could be to your advantage.

But I am afraid that this might just cost me the internship, the research position, or the scholarship. I realise that I am lucky as a Canadian because issues of GLBT rights seem to be a lot less controversial, but every once in a while you get on the wrong side of some ignorant person whose number one goal is to make you feel bad about yourself.

Yeah, and there’s the other side of the coin, of course — you’ll never be immune from the possibility that some homophobic dick may try and cause problems for you (especially once you’re out of school, where the discourse often slides back near what it was in junior high).

The good thing is, though, that these things are usually done by committee, and it’s tougher to be discriminated against by a committee since that requires the bigot to get public to the other members with his/her prejudices. Not that it can’t happen, or that the offender can’t manufacture other bullshit reasons not to pick you — it’s just harder.

So what do you say Josh? Do I come out in an application when it’s relevant?

Yeah, I definitely would, as long as you’re comfortable with it, which apparently you are. I kinda see it like this — if not here, where? It’s probably the friendliest audience you’ll ever face, honestly. You’ll have tougher crowds in the future — might as well get your feet wet here.

A second advantage of writing about it is that doing so conveys confidence. When you deliver something with confidence — oral or written — the audience doesn’t stop to think about it. They just nod and go along with you.

So, even if you did get in front of some fence-sitters, you’re better off If you talk confidently and matter-of-factly about the subject. Subconsciously, your NOT making an issue of it more likely to do the same.

I’m only an armchair psychologist myself, but it’s the same reason the best impostors are the ones who act like they’re supposed to be there. The same reason that, when a line of cars are in a lane that’s closing and they’re all trying to merge into yours, the successful ones just see a spot and merge, no questions asked. The ones that get stuck over there are the meek little pansies who signal for 30 seconds, stick their hand out the window, and inch over while looking over their shoulder 20 times looking for indisputable visual approval from the driver behind them.

Screw that. Just get over.

And the same for you, Victoria. Probably nothing to worry about, but hey, if there is, screw ‘em. Roll how you roll, and you’ll be fine.

If you don’t get the awards — well, everything will still be fine in the end, and you’ll be a lot happier with yourself for bringing the real you to the table. Hide from no one.

– Any thoughts, reader-folk? Better to play it safe? Let us know in the comments below.

When It’s OK to Lie (43)

Weighted GPA vs. Non-Weighted GPA

Judge Josh — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 20:18:02 +0000

Brittany has an interesting question today. If a scholarship committee asks for your GPA but doesn’t specify weighted or unweighted, which one should you give ‘em?

At my high school we are currently on an honors grading scale for majority of our classes. We are given a GPA that is considered to be weighted; when applying for a scholarship should I enter my weighted or unweighted GPA?

Do they still call them F's? They called them U's when I was in school (for "unsatisfactory")....

If it doesn’t ask specifically for one or the other, use the higher one, for a few reasons:

1) Higher looks better, obviously.

2) If they didn’t specify which one they wanted, then you have no reason NOT to believe they didn’t want the weighted one.

3) If they didn’t specify which one they wanted, they don’t have any right to complain later if they find out the one you provided isn’t the one they wanted.

If the scholarship you’re applying to requires transcripts be sent, then look at the appearance of your transcripts. Make sure that, if there’s a cumulative GPA section that really jumps out and is obvious, that it doesn’t have the unweighted instead of the weighted. If it does, then report both of them.

For example my weighted GPA is 3.4 while my unweighted is 2.7, am I still eligible for scholarships, which only look at students who have an accumulative GPA of 3.0?

Well, it depends on the scholarship. Each will have its own criteria for that sort of thing, but don’t be surprised if you come across many that don’t specify weighted vs. unweighted.

I’ve been judging and giving scholarships for almost 8 years now, and the whole weighted-unweighted issue still slips my mind quite a bit. So some judges and originators aren’t even going to think about weighted GPAs. In that case, give ‘em your weighted GPA, by all means, and for all the reasons above.

The worst-case scenario is that they get your transcripts, see that your unadjusted GPA is below 3.0, and toss out your application. Best-case scenario, you win some serious money. So, when in doubt, applying for the scholarships definitely passes the cost-benefit analysis.

If no one asks you to specify, then I’d give ‘em my highest GPA, weighted, every single time. It’s an important metric that’s used frequently enough for you to have some legit plausible deniability if someone asks you why you didn’t submit the unweighted one. And, much more often than not — no one will even notice or ask questions.

Good luck!

Readers — any thoughts? I know some of you will disagree with my me-first, ask-forgiveness-not-permission approach. Either way, let us know in the comments below!

I’m Average. Should I Drop Out?

Judge Josh — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 19:52:34 +0000

Jatna’s having a rough time with college. It’s been harder for her than high school was, and she has that gnawing feeling that she wasn’t meant for it. That she should quit.

First of all let me say that I absolutely love this blog, it has helped me get through some pretty tough times while at school.

Thanks for saying so! Most of the time I just feel like a jackass at a computer, so when you guys tell me that I’m actually helping you out, it makes me feel really good.

No caption necessary, eh?

With that said I do seem to be having a problem.

OK.

I was an A and B student in high school and so that is what I was accustomed to getting, that all changed when I got to college. Freshman year started out strong but soon after I just shut down. I don’t come from a family who knew what American college was about so it made it hard to ask for advice from any of them.

I’ll assume that, by “shut down,” you mean you’re just having trouble pulling those same grades in college.

Many of my friends were still getting A’s and B’s while my transcript is only lightly peppered by them.

I have a feeling I’m going to be repeating this theme a lot during this post, but let me break the seal here — C’s get degrees, baby. A’s are not required to graduate. Neither are B’s. End of story. No, really, I mean it — end of story.

I am hovering right now with a 2.1 GPA and I am ready to just get out.

Keep that exact GPA, and you’ll graduate from the program you’re in.

I am 21 years old and was hoping to graduate with two bachelors (if the president of my school decides to make the final decision to create that major) degrees but I am already 21 years old and I won’t be graduating with my class.

1) If the pres doesn’t allow the double bachelor’s, then believe me, one is just fine.

2) I understand that you feel like you’re ALREADY 21 years old — but the rest of the world sees you as ONLY 21 years old. And they’re right. You aren’t behind or lagging. You’re 21 and in college, on track to graduate. Perfect. Zero defects.

3) Try not to feel too married to your “class” in college. It’s not the same as high school. Lots of extremely smart people will not graduate in four years, for a variety of reasons, bad and good.

Some will party so hard they’ll fail classes, and that’s why they won’t make it in four. Some will take their time exploring different majors before they settle into one. Some will spend a year abroad. Some will just relax a little and take their time.

All of these things, in the long run, are totally fine. Even the hard-partying example. None of these things excludes you from learning a lot of stuff, getting a degree and getting into a great career.

Long story short: this isn’t the end of the world. You don’t have to get straight A’s to be successful or feel good about yourself. As my counselor, the marvelous Lynette Quast, might say, you’ve got some serious negative self-talk going on here, Jatna.

And I’m not making light of it, because I’ve been through the same thing before in my own life — but I’m sure as hell going to point it out and rattle your cage a bit about it, because the first thing you gotta do is recognize that a lot of this is self-inflicted, and then you can begin to stop inflicting this brand of perfectionism on yourself.

I love history and love the classes that my major has to offer but it’s like I don’t feel like I can graduate anymore. My friends will be graduating next semester and I won’t be walking alongside them.

Yes, you certainly can graduate. You have a 2.1, which will get you a degree. And your friends won’t care. Plus, you can make plenty of new friends who are graduating with, before, and after you.

But this isn’t about anyone else but you, and that’s where you’ve got to focus. As they say in the Dominican Republic, Jatna (wink-wink), “El que quiere moños bonitos tiene que aguitar halones.” Gringos, this means, “if you want long hair, you gotta pull it tight” — if you want something, you best be willing to work hard for it.

Are you working/studying as hard as you can right now? If not, then start pullin’ it tight and spend more time studying. If so, then maybe you need to take one fewer class per semester. Yes, it’ll prolong your time in school, but again, there’s nothing at all wrong with that.

Watching my grades take that plunge has killed my confidence in school and my advisor pretty much thinks I am worthless and won’t be able to ever get into grad school.

Well, you may not be able to get into grad school if your GPA doesn’t get up to a 3.0. That’s true (and actually, very thoroughly discussed in this post about getting into grad school with a low GPA). That doesn’t mean you’re worthless, a feeling I suspect is coming more from you than your advisor.

I feel like I have completely let myself and my family down and now I am really thinking about dropping out.

I don’t know your family, but even if they’re the kind of family that actually would be let down by anything less than total dominating excellence to the point where your farts smell like fresh-baked bread and the tiles you walk on light up like Michael Jackson in the “Billie Jean” video — wouldn’t they be more disappointed if you quit than if you graduated, allbeit with a C average?

Even when I studied abroad in Japan I couldn’t take school seriously because I don’t feel like I am smart enough to finish.

Wait…you’ve done a year abroad? In Japan, no less, one of the few countries where only a small percentage speak ANY English whatsoever? And I believe you’re also bilingual, are you not? And you still don’t think you’re smart enough to finish?

Should I drop out of school and just end this whole cycle of feeling horrible if I don’t get an A in a class?

I think you know what I’m gonna say by now, but anyway — no, of course you shouldn’t drop out. There are plenty of good reasons to drop out of school — you’re hospitalized from a car wreck, you’re broke and can’t pay tuition, you have new triplets at home that need their mother, you’ve been invited to tour with Justin Timberlake as a backup dancer, etc.

HAVING A C AVERAGE IS NOT ONE OF THEM.

I’m being firm here for a reason, but I don’t want you to think I’m making fun of you, either. It’s clear that you’re taking it very hard, this whole not-getting-A’s thing. And there are two things you can do about that: a) start getting better grades, or b) stop caring so much about excellent grades.

I propose a combination of both. Don’t anyone misinterpret my “C’s get degrees” comment as a license to half-ass your way through school. I think you should work as hard as you can to learn all that you can. If doing that gets you A’s — outstanding! If it gets you B’s and C’s…that’s fine, too.

If, despite busting your hump to the absolute maximum, you get mostly D’s and F’s, then college is probably not for you. But you’re not in that group.

A buen hambre no hay pan duro. When you’re hungry, no bread is too hard to eat. If you want it, work hard and go get it. Don’t let anyone — including yourself — talk you out of what’s yours.

– I know some of you are licking your chops to get in on this one. What should she do? Is she being a little hard on herself? Any C’s-get-degrees stories out there? Let us know in the comments below.

Internships vs. Graduating on Time: What’s More Important? (39)

Jewelry Design: Good Career Choice?

Judge Josh — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 18:56:57 +0000

Forget world travel. Lydia wants to stay put here in the U.S. and design jewelry for a living. But does that make sense? Will you be able to support yourself and possibly a family with that job in the coming decades?

Hey Josh,

Your blog is wonderful, I think it’s so great for someone to put so much time into helping students.

Thanks! I’ve been a real slouch lately when it comes to my daily posts, but I am officially back on track as of today.

So since your willing I’ve got two questions:

Go for it.

Background Info: I’m in community college now doing my core classes and good thing cause after a bunch of traveling to Switzerland, Israel, and Egypt I decided I didn’t want to travel that much the rest of my life doing International Business.

As long as hip-hop rules the charts, there will be demand for jewelry designers.

OK. Still, I’m jealous of your globetrotting.

So flip flopping aside I have pretty consistently wanted to do Jewelry Design as a career which leads me to my two questions:

Uh-oh. I’m painfully ignorant about the jewelry design business…looks like I have to do some actual research today instead of just shooting off at the lip.

1. Is this a supportive career?

If you mean, will you make enough money to support yourself, then sure — as long as you can find a job. Can you support, say, a family of five? That’ll be tough, from what I’m gathering. Here’s what the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics says in its 2010-2011 outlook:

Median annual wages for jewelers and precious stone and metal workers were $32,940 in May 2008. The middle 50 percent earned between $24,370 and $43,440. The lowest 10 percent earned less than $19,000, and the highest 10 percent earned more than $55,130.

Most jewelers start out with a base salary, but once they become more proficient, they may begin charging by the number of pieces completed. Jewelers who work in retail stores may earn a commission for each piece of jewelry sold. Many jewelers also enjoy a variety of benefits, including reimbursement from their employers for work-related courses and discounts on jewelry purchases.

Plenty of job opportunities?

This definitely depends on your definition of “plenty.” It’s definitely a niche industry, but — again, from the BLS:

Prospects for bench jewelers and other skilled jewelers should be favorable; keen competition is expected for lower skilled manufacturing jobs, such as assemblers and polishers.

Is there a good website to check something like that?

Yes — here are the ones I used:

Bureau of Labor Statistics — Jewelers Outlook

Payscale.com’s snapshot of jewelry-design jobs data

FabJob Guide to Becoming a Jewelry Designer (sells an eBook…I have no idea if it’s any good, so buyer beware).

2. If I did go to school for it I have a couple of school options in my area. I can either go to a university in North Dartmouth (Umass) or RI (RISD) or a pretty prestigious trade school (North Bennet Street School) in Boston. What looks better on a resume a trade school or a university?

Well, according to the BLS once again:

About 54 percent of all jewelers and precious stone and metal workers are self-employed.
Jewelers usually learn their trade in vocational or technical schools, through distance-learning centers, or on the job.

So, since I have no experience with the business of jewelry design outside making rings and bracelets for my kids out of Silly Bands, I’m going to trust the government (mark this day, you won’t hear that from me very often) and say that a trade school may be your best bet.

The second one is a little more important to me cause I’ve already done some research on the first. So if you don’t get to it no worries.

Thank you for your time,
Lydia

Of course, and thanks for asking — I learned a lot from this one myself. Before your note, I would’ve guessed that there were only a handful of jewelry designers in the U.S., and that most of the work was farmed out to Chinese factories.

Because of you, Lydia, I’m just a little bit less full of shit today than I was yesterday. Thanks!

– What about you guys? Got any advice for Lydia? Let us know in the comments below!

Parental Horseshit (29)
Unique & Obscure Degrees: Worth it? (13)
How To Deal With College App Stress (32)
Education Management: Study Education or Business? (13)
Ready To Give Up (68)
Should I Move Back Home? (12)
Too Shy To Be a Teacher? (47)

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